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The Parrsitivity Podcast
The Parrsitivity Podcast

Episode 39 · 1 year ago

The Parrsitivity Podcast #Episode 63 Ashu

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In today's episode im with Ashu @Listeningstoriesuntold we talk about culture, education, mental health and much more. Ashu has is a mental health advocate/counselor --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/the-parrsitivity-podcast/message

Hither. My name is Adam Po and the podcast host posity to podcast. In this podcast, you will be listened to me connect with people from different walks of life, from the military to people in the music industry, to people in the self help industry and many other areas of life. In this podcast I'll be talking about topics from self help, mental health, motivation, spirituality, mindset, society, current affairs and much, much more. If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe, share and let me know your feedback. And my main intention on this podcast is to have a positive impact for you, the lit the listener, to take something positive from it, to apply something positive into your life from this. Now with without further ado, let's go to podcast and enjoy. Hi, and welcome supposit to podcast on today's episode and with a shoe, as she was a counselor of mental health advocate. In today's episode we talked about pressures around doing the right thing for ourselves, under family pressures to conform, and much, much more. Now sit back blacks enjoy this episode. Hi, Han, hi, can you hear me? Okay, yeah, AH, great, great, thank you on the podcast. Really appreciates it. Thank you for inviting me now you're very welcome. So, like how did you kind of come about doing what you do? Like it, you know, self help and positivity and therapy. Yeah, like it was more of like a graduationship, because it was not doing it for myself as well. I had an operation when I was in told grade and yeah, like I was God made me with love, right, so he blessed me with two point five kidneys. So that five, like that small piece of kidney part, had to be removed, and that time was like very weird for me, because once you've learned how to walk and everything and then you'll retack on the bed again, you can't even get up to go to the washroom feel yourself up. You need help for everything and you've got a lot of time to think. That made me realize that if I can get through this alone, I can get through anything. But then it faded away because I was a kid back then and I just forgot all about it. And then I started getting these suicidal thoughts because things started piling up and in India there is no discussion about mental health and stuff. It's like a taboo. You don't talk about it, your parents don't talk about it, and the only resource you have. Our friends and like...

...the Indian culture does not promote working part time jobs and stuff, so you can't even go to like a therapist. You can't afford it and no one gives it out for free. And I just was like very into this self help books. I loved reading them, and probably that's how my mindset shifted, but at not realize that I need to, like if I got over this, I need to help other people as well. I realized it and I lost a friend. Like he's still living, he's out there living his best life, probably, but we are not on talking terms. And all because I neglected his difference, different behavior and he had anxiety. Someone told me that he had anxiety and all that stuff and he had to deal with it alone, and he tried telling me, but I kept thinking that, no, my problems are big. So that's when I realized, okay, now I need to start helping other people. And then I had this page already on Instagram, listening stories. I told it's I started it in two, two thousand and seventeen July, I guess, and it was just like, I write poems and stuff, so I just posted poems, articles and things, but then slowly, that's how it took shape and I really got into all the stuff. Wow, like, you know, want incredible again. It's all. You know, go through all of the you know, like okay, not biziliun certain. You know, realize, you know this, this kind of faod is something that you know you're ruin from the you know those experiences, you know that you went for you can learn use help over people. Yes, it's like a gift for everyone who goes through this. They get this gift that they need to share with other people and the realization that this might be the last time you talk to someone, even if it does not mean like they're going to die, but the last time you're going to talk to someone. It just makes things a lot different and you want to convey people, tell people they are important, there worthy. So that's what I wanted to do, because not many people do that these days. Yeah, no, I agree. I think, like I said, you know, talk to people, you know, really appreciating people that you have in your life and your friends or your family, and there is that. You know, you feel connected, there, isn't it? And, like you said, exactly things can happen. Life happens and you might not talk to them or see them, you know, based on what you know. Xy, is that? Yeah, so why you said we'll make sorry. Current it's just that everyone has something going on and like it's better to be kind to someone instead of pissing them off on the streets, like when you're driving a car you're just mad at everyone, honking and stuff. Instead you can be just kind, and it's surely difficult because everyone's got something and you've got something on you to but if you've become nice to someone else, even a stranger, it feels very weird these days, but it will probably be the one good thing in their day that they might count. Yeah, now, I agree. I think. You know, life has been societies become so fast that we're, you know, so caught up with our forts, about work, thoughts, about you know, worries or exactly going to do relates on the day. Yeah, and then we might stop that up be watching something on our phone or talking some more phone. So it's kind...

...of become like a normal most just kind of be disconnected. You hopefully the pandemic, you know, his kind of resets how the world thinks and, you know, slowed how we live a little bit. Yes, it's like it's two ways. It can go to ways. It can also backfire because the way you said that we get to disconnector we also kind of get to connect it with the words bad things that are going around, like some people might stress them selves to like illness and stuff, and this time because they'll be constantly watching the news feeding them with negativity because apparently all the negative stuff is happening. And if you just get too much connected into it and not being able to disconnect from the negativity of the world, that can backfire in ways which can affect him mentally. And really, you know, I got, I think, what you said, you know to be true or nothing, like with the media, you have to be quite balanced what you taken and how much tominetically you you give to these media sources. And you know, it's nothing wrong with watching loose. The thing it's you got exactive what news you look and how long you look at it for and what time you look at it. Yes, and yeah, it is surely possible, like if people have a good mindset and if they're willingly focus on the positive stuff, they can also find positive things going on. And like yesterday I saw this news of a bit like a pregnant elephant. She ate a pineapple like it's an India. It happened in get a lot of people placed crackers and a pineapple and fed it to a pregnant elephant. I will say, Oh my God, that thing just drained out my energy. Guvers. Just trying myself not to exposed to those things and it just took away everything. My energy was started. I could not do anything. So, like, I believe it's very important to be balanced with the media. Yeah, no, that's nice exactly, and we have to be so careful what we look at. And you know, some things, like you said, you can watch and you know it does drain you or makes you think negatively or worried. I've done it, especially I like to keep up data what's happening in the world. But yes, I should be a balance. Yeah, balance, and I was looking up the news recently on Instagram, like videos of where, you know, the rights are taking place in America. Yeah, there's a lot of footage that is, you know, senseless and not nice, like you know, and that that is all negative and you have to be careful, like you said, what you look at and when, because it can affect as a ripple effects. If you watch something or see someone that's bad, it then has a ripple effect for our your day. So it's almost like carrying that with you. So it's just kind of learning how to kind of see it and go, okay, that's what's happening, you know, and let go of it. But that's you know, that's a that's quite a difficult thing to do, especially, you know, we've off mobile...

...phones. If you subscribe something, you get notifications are automatically point phone and tell you what's happening exactly. Becoming hard and harder to avoid certain things. Like I totally turn off notifications for every single thing because it gets very tough in the morning. Like if I wake up and I just want to listen to some affirmations or something on Youtube, I'll have to turn on my Internet and if I dont on my Internet, the notifications are going to go popping on my phone. So this turn off notifications for every single thing so that I think my own time and then I see what's out there. Yeah, that's nothing like you know, we we've you know, positivity and negativity. I think you know, positive positivity will always shine through the negative you know, the negative stuff. I kind of believe that because, like I'm into this law of attraction and stuff, and like I've heard this repeat over so many times, like everything will come through the thoughts. You think, all of those thoughts are going to come true. It doesn't matter if they're negative or positive. But if that is this time lab and if you tend to focus on the positive thoughts, the positive thoughts are kind of like heavier in the energy. They're bigger than the negative thoughts, so they tend to like cancel those negative thoughts out. So I believe that positivity is like want to shine and I believe that all these negative things are happening in the world because it's like some ever heard people talk about some great awakening and everything, which I have not, like well, deeper and Doo, but I believe that is some great awakening gonna Happen soon. Yeah, no, I cleagu and I think this year. Yeah, and everything that's been happening is almost lucky in our mind. You know, it's a big shift. It's lucking, a spiritual awakening, this kind of power don shift where whatever we've been doing, you know, that hasn't been working out. You know of being forced to look at you know, a lot was being going badly. We're being forced to like sit down with ourselves, see are in securities, see the thoughts that we have been running from all this time. It's like first met, like going inside a meditation type of a thing, but it's just first and everyone hates meditation. Yeah, because was. Yeah, we are being we're being forced to look at things, like ourselves. We got more tume with ourselves and, you know, the things that we want for polly Bros, happiness, you know the things that we were doing. You know, we can go and do those things. You know won't. Depending on where you're situated, people are going to being forced, forst to also be like also improve, improvised, like people have. Their business has come crumbling down, but some people are also making best of this opportunity and finding out new ways to improve their business or get some new product out. And like we're just being forced to shift into this different sort of a world and change the way we work. And like I totally agree with you. Like do you think that will? You know, with the situation, we can only kind of grow from this. If you know, you see this as an opportunity like you, sir. Apparently for me it's like a huge opportunity because everything that I do is online and I have not been focusing on it. Honestly, I did not take like en rolling court. I enrolled in a lot...

...of courses, but I was never able to complete them because of my like I'm a student still, so I have stuff to study and exams to give and I just just let life carry me away. But right now I'm so focused on this and probably I'll make this a habit so that when things again start to happen, this will habit. This will be a habit that will stay and not get pushed away in the rush of life. Yeah, no, exactly. And, like you know, you can this. You know what you're doing. You can you can do that bit more and, like you said, the habit you know, which is getting against the routine and routine and just doing it and then over time it just becomes second nature and you're just doing it. They're like, so you can focus somewhat. You're what you're doing as well. What is it? Your study? Mails? I'm starting bachelors and Business Administration, which is totally away from the field that I'm in too, because of their into pressure in India, which is a big thing again, and like most of these students end up in a course they don't really like. So mental health is like a big issue in India. They have helped or ten people through this platform all about. Okay, my parents don't listen to me, and friends are not the best resources, I believe, because they're going to the same stuff and they might give you ways that might not work for you. So I've talked to people who are like much older than me, and there was this one person who wanted to be a life coach everything, okay, let's start, and they helped mentored her. She was a mother of one and like she's doing much better now, but sometimes it gets raining and exhausting to help other people. So yeah, you've got to you got to follow what's you know right here, and I you said you know you're you're from a completely different culture from me. You know, I'm from like England or the West. But even then, like you know, there are still those what you said happens in your country, with some cases where parents want you to do something so young because they say you don't let them down. That still happens across the world. You know exactly, but I think, like I know a lot of people who are from, you know, from India, and like they kind of you know was saying. There's similar things what you were saying, and you know, you just want to make your parents proud, your parents parents. Usually, yes, it's just like they have. They had their dreams which they could not follow because of their bearings, and it's like a very lung chain. So you just got to understand that they are children that need healing to so they are are trying to if, even if they're trying to force their dreams on you, and which is like a common case, it is not their fault because, according to them, they are being a better parent than their own parents. And according to US, when we this generation, will be parents, they'll be thinking, oh, I'm a better parent than my own parents, but the kids will be again complaining, because there is this understanding that has to be built. Some parents are great, no doubt, but then there is this need to talk to your child and this need to get into a culture of openness and talk about things which are normally not talked about. HMM HMM, yeah, not as Pretty Roy and you know you've...

...got to you know, I in my opinion, I think if you have children, you know, you support them whatever they want to do. You cannot, you should have really force your children into doing things just because you want them to do that, because you know you're the one. You're not the one is going to be doing it for exactly know. But I was saying, parents just they don't know any different because they're just teaching what they've been taught by their parents and what their answer that or them. So, you know, I think it's a tricky it's a tricky situation because I think in some families that you know, there are consequences if you don't do that, and yes, that are so, you know, I think, but not people. With what you're doing, you've got to you know, still deep down follow this thing that you're doing and some when you enjoy and, you know, alongside this over thing or yes, yes, hmm right, you know, like this is why it's in you know, especially when you have certain life experiences. You know, it's using that you know and, like you said, you're too you know, you tuned into yourself when you found something where you can help other people, you know who, yeah, probably been through similar things where you are and that's that's the beauty a life that, you know, making a positive, positive difference in someone. Yes, and it's also very important. Like there's this I forgot the name, like the sweet spot. Take there are things that you're good at, there are things you might love doing, there are things that might get your paid about. You've got to find that sweet spot. So when I was supposed to choose a course for myself for high education, people told me to go for the law because they thought, Oh, I'm a good public speaker. That was the thing I was good at and it pays. So that is a thing that pays. But I myself don't really getting into debates and I know it's like fighting for the justice, but I don't like, you know, someone else pointing out at me and then I arguing on the same thing. So, as I know, I'm not going to take low, even though my father was like yes, you're supposed to take it, because he's a lawyer himself. And I escaped it through my plans, may be plans and lay. I ended up in Bba business, Bachelor's in Business Administration, and I was not even like I was not sure, it was just something that I had to do something which could not be psychology. So I took this and I ended up studying something like all of these subjects are so much into psychology. It's about marketing, marketing, about how the customer things. It's psychologies. That makes me Weel so happy that at least I made that choice and it gives me time to pursue what I have and what I love doing. So it's like very important to find what is your sweet spot and if people make people are making excuses that, oh, I don't have time for this. That's not true, because you have enough time to find out like a little slot in your day to do things that you like. Yeah, no, I agree, like you know, you like, but you said you you're doing this business course and you know, like, even though im not go into that in the future, like you still kind of learning something business. You know, like you kind of will be exupposed running your own business. So you know, it's still in some aspects. You probably take something from that with like, you know, your psyche psychology and be interested in people off and that's never gonna going to go away, like you said. You know, there's there's always that time in the day. You...

...know, we all have the same twenty four hours in the day, don't it's what you do that time exactly. But, like you know, it's I think a lot of it comes down selfdiscipline, doesn't it? Yes, social languages like a very doubting towards yeah, but how hold are you? My I ask. I don't like. I do slack. I slack a lot of things. ABODY DO. Holder. You are said sorry, sorry, I am a don't need being nice. D I returning nineteen this yell. Yeah, we still you still young. In the mean, you're still plenty of opportunity as well. Yes, and I think that's what people worry about sometimes, is their age. And hear people say sometimes I'm too old, this, this, this thing. I have encountered this so much because there are people who want to follow their passions, but they'll be like, no, I'm too old. And I kind of feel very happy that I started early, because I have time to take the false I have time to figure it out. But I talked to a Voson like. I talked to I don't remember the name. I talk to a yes, it talked to Becky. She's a like mindset coach and she is a she figured out that she wanted to be a mindset coach when she was thirteen and in her s she realized that it was not you know, it was not working out for her. The corporate job was not working out for her and she left it, but she left it realistically. Her company was kind of like really nice to her, so they let her work part time. And then this time she came up with so many ideas, like I want to be a party plan or I want to be this. This isnt she tried almost everything. So I wanted think the story inspired me that it's never too late to figure out what you want to do. It's just the courage that's required. HMM, you. No, agree's never too late to figure out what you want to do. And a lot of successful people out there. You know who these businesses, you know, became successful. You know when the in the like the S, in the S, you know, a lot of famous acts is going to acting and in the S or fifties. Yes, like we can take it as if you're older. You've got that experience and you've got that knowledge that you can put which makes you like ahead. It puts you ahead of all the people who are trying when they're young. So you got to take it in the positive all the time and everything will just walk out for you if you said the intentions. M Yeah, that's it is. I think it's difficult because, you know, we're going against the system that we're taught through education and through probably growing up, because you need to do you know, need to go to school, you need to go a job. She just HMM. And I think like a lot of people. They yeah, a lot of people chase chase money, they don't chase happiness. Can you still hear me ask now? Yes, I still hello. Why you se me? Yeah, yes, but, yeah, I just said, like people chase money and not happiness. Well, I think it could should be switched switched around. Yeah, because, but and so,...

...like I want to have a lot of money because I was not very sure about picking up other people stream instead of having my own dreams, which most of the people tend to do. And then I read this book and I would like, Oh my God, that's so great, because it says when you'll create value to people, then you'll add value to lives of people. The money is going to come anyway, the abundance is going to come anyway, but when you do something that actually creates an impact and adds value to lives of people, you're going to feel that sense of satisfaction and happiness. So it's in turn, like follow the happiness in the success, in the man. He's going to come on and yeah, now. So really that's a really powerful point. Often, you know, it's really true that you know, provide value two ofers and do what matters to you and you know you you, you have an impact. You know the finances, the money will just kind of follow through the do you have any favorite books at all? Yes, I have a lot of favorite books and apparently I just made a current favorite book today. Only I was listening to the law of attraction by a Jerry and as to Hicks and like it just of what everyone was talking about it. So I wanted to have it and I got it on audible today and, Oh my God, it is like I was listening. I just listened five minutes and I had goose bumps all over me, Mars, and then I've got rich start, poor dad had. All those classics are like really good. The power of your subconscious mind is really good. HMM. Yeah, now there's some. Apparently I have not read the alchemist and that's like everyone says it's a really good book and not come across to read it. Yeah, I used to have the alchemist. I read that book and it's very, very good book. I think you'd enjoy it. I'm going to read it for show then. Yeah, like I said, you can aud your books are great as well. You know, if you're busy, you haven't got time to hold a book, you can first play on your phone, listen to it wherever you go. Yeah, but about like I am more on the like having a paperback on my hand. I like the feel of a book, but then this fandom it was going on, so I thought it might be safer to just listen to some audio books for this time and then I can go back to ordering books. Yeah, no, of course. And you know books, you know great. You know you you can learn new things and you know, take take a value from them. If have you ever heard of a person called Alan Watts? No, I haven't. Author send you some of his content. He was a philosopher show during me S S S, and he talked about life and society and people and he was kind of a way ahead of his time and what he was talking about back then. It's kind of happening now. And during the time he was talking about these things, people didn't take him seriously, but he's quite good to listen to ours send you some of his details and content. Sure, but, like so I round the world. Would you say to people you know during this time who might be listening, you know, ways of coping with their mental health and all the going might be going, for this is like the best time every person would. I've complained once or every day, probably when they're going to walk or caught that Oh,...

I just want for some time so that I can gather myself together and then start again. And holds so many people. Third, I said myself that I've got so many things to do, need to play, click the button some all the things that I'm on and then can go life for like this is the and this is the time you have, like asking for when you said, Oh, I don't have to have I don't have time to have out with that partner, I don't have time to learn, have time to do this, like this is the time where you get time to do everything off for some time later in a time is now, and like, if you've got so many things you can do just because you've got a roof over, because people are not having that as it so there's so much to eatful for this, so much to be there's so much that we can do in this time, but got to meet the most because it's I don't think it's gonna come back, because one's life six up, back to Oh, I wish I could have a break. People are going to yeah, you're enough. Not Right. I think like this is a time where people can, you know, take option and I really think about what it is they want to do and see as an opportunity. Yes, they can like hear them else themselves like hello, can you hear me? Hello, can you hear me? The collection ones of yeah. So I was just saying that if there could be one thing that I could make all the people in the world do, it would just be journaling, because it gets toff first, because when you see the simply page you get very intimidated, but once you force yourself to write one or two sentences, you just can't write to be like unstoppable. And even if you start with the right on the top of ahead. If you don't want to use journals, it's okay. Just right, I have to do this, this, this, this, and it's going to start flowing and when you read it all again, things are going to come to surface which you never thought existed. HMM, it's just because they're not having the right prompts. So I was that, yeah, journaling is, you know, agree what you said. I think journalings it. Like you said, it can be quite difficult start, but I suppose once...

...you start you get in start flow of it and it's an important, you know, way of you know, managing your force, I suppose. And plans like self to savory and like just yes, planning. For planners, journaling is like everything feel so good. That's great, great advice. Nothing like that. You are something I probably need to do more. I've got a journal, writing goals and things I need to do and I'll go back to it. But you know, I think it's boring to probably do a daily or weekly journal. Be To be conflistent. It's like it's yes, it's like okay, if you don't want to do it every day, it's fine. It's like you're sitting the wrong goal for yourself if you feel like, Oh, I'll have to journal or you forget it. It's like everyone tells you to get but the only way you think, yeah, adds, says and let yeah, so you brokepe then for a few seconds, connection on again. Yeah, you are, you sold about journaling and how supports and yes, so it's like, just focus on the end process. If the purpose of journaling is thoughts out, you have a lot of is to get it thoughts out. Just don't stick to one method. Just focus on the end goal. You can talk to a friend, you can take it's not necessary to just journal. It's just necessary that you get the things out. You know, I agree. It only gives you that claverty as well, that peace of mind, and you can see things a bit more clear once they're on paper. Yes, it's like the alternate would be to talk to a friend, but then there is this thing that a friend might not always be available for you, but a pen and paper is always Uli. It's like private to you. So you can write anything, you can confide about anything, and then you can also get things out of your head and see them in front of you. Like you said. You know, that's a really good point. I agree, but now it's it's it's definitely being really, really great talking to you. Thank you so much. It just nice talking to you too now. You're very welcome and you know, I wish you were the best in what you're doing and yeah, just keep on, keep on them either and stuffing. You know, you've got some really great content on your page. It's really positive. Thanks so much. Now, you welcome, and you know, I think it really helps people, and I think you know, especially during these times, like where can you? If you will, find you on social media, find me on in saying the name, listening stories untold, and from there they can get to...

...every platform. That's wherever. Yeah, no, that's awesome, but now we definitely resh you all the best, because you've got like such great content and like get doing this, interviewing people, calling them to just share the story. That's like dated in styles. No, thank you. Thank you. I really really appreciate it and, you know, really means a lot and you know, you're very welcome to be on here and you know, we can always do it again sometime. You know. Good, Jeremy. Can you hear me? How can you hear me? Yes, sorry, you just cut out them, but not really really appreciate it and really means a lot and I think you know, both on the same wavelength from a both kind of doing similar things where we on to, you know, have a positive impact number people. So just during this podcast I had connectivity issues in trying to gather a solid connection with a shure. But you can follow a shoe on instagram and I'll put the description in the link in the Bio. But I had a really, really great podcast with her and please, please check out her content as she's got some amazing quotes on her page and is doing something really, really positive. But hope you enjoy the podcast and stay tuned for more. Have a great day.

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