Sounder SIGN UP FOR FREE
The Parrsitivity Podcast
The Parrsitivity Podcast

Episode 30 · 1 year ago

The Parrsitivity Podcast #Episode 72 Ilona Parunakova

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

I'm very humbled to have a very good friend of mine back on the podcast! @inhc_cpt_ilona - In today's Episode we talk about the trials and tribulations that Ilona faced when she attended a beauty pageant, and the barriers that she overcame. We also talk about loving oneself, challenges in society, growing up, success, comfort zones and much more! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/the-parrsitivity-podcast/message

Hither. My name is Adam Po and the podcast host posity to podcast. In this podcast, you will be listened to me connect with people from different walks of life, from the military to people in the music industry, to people in the self help industry and many other areas of life. In this podcast I'll be talking about topics from self help, mental health, motivation, spirituality, mindset, society, current affairs and much, much more. If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe, share and let me know your feedback. And my main intention on this podcast is to have a positive impact for you, the lit the listener, to take something positive from it, to apply something positive into your life from this. Now with without further ado, let's go to podcast and enjoy. Hi and welcome to the post is a podcast. In today's episode I'm join once again with Elona Peruna. Over, we talked about the time that she applied for beauty pageant and the top the trials and tribulations that she faced along the way. Sit Back, relax, enjoy this episode. Right, I learned either and Yourr yeah, and then great. Yeah, thank you, yes, good, not. Good. To have you back on me on the podcast really means a lot awesome. But yeah, we said that on this honest today, on today's topic, would talk about the beauty pageant. But he was and yes, it was. It was right after the collapse of the Soviet Union. So, you know, there was like I always had a dream of this Inderella, and if you know any girl, we all have some kind of that dream that, you know, romatting dream of the Cinderella started counting us all day and we always think about our plan, our future, what we're going to look like this transformation time. So I didn't think about anything else. I used to design my own clothes, my own the close for my dolls, and I would play my my vision in my dream into that. But one day we were coming back with my friends and my sister, my cousin's, we were walking out regular routine back home, and we saw the flyer that posted by the window or one of them schools. And during that time we didn't have any Internet, we don't have any Google and Youtube, so we could not collect any information until it's like on a paper. So if it's on the paper, you better read it. So because if there's any communication, any message that needs to be done between them, let's say government and a people. It's essential. You have to read it because during that time, you know, we didn't have an electricity, so our time spent on a TV or the news was very, very limited. So we gravitated toward that. That the poster on the door and the poster we were expecting anything like. You know what is going to be next time. You know, if your mail, you know, get ready to get it to the war, you know, no school or anything, but this. It said this. You know, the armdium diaspora is hosting the first and first annual beauty pageants. If you are interested, sign up count well, first casting, you know, because it's not just it's a preliminar casting before you even get into the pageant casting, you know, prepagent casting. So I said to myself, were as sure he rights so, and all of my friends, you know, my classmates who were with me, they were like, you know, when I let's do it, you know, I think it would be amazing, it would be fantastic, you gonna love it. There's nothing to lose, you know, all you have to do is just get there. If they say no, then it's no, and that's what I was feared...

...for, to get no rejection, because that would tell me that it would not validate my, you know, my confidence. It will as so, you know, the girl, like a teenager, eighteen year old, I wanted to be beautiful, right, and everybody else, you know, we do not want to cold, ugly or because in my life, as I was growing up, my relatives called me ugly because I did not resemble them, because my mom is Ukrainian and my Irenian family there were, you know, like relatives. They would call me ugly because I had a different color of the hair, different color of the eyes. So I heard that that they were blaming me or calling me names all, you know, like in my ears. So and I was afraid to get another know which will validate their statements in my life. Therefore, I said no, I'm not gonna do that. So they push, looking know on. No, please, let's go sign up, it's not going to hurt you and let's just just try it. You know it's going to be okay. So what you know? You know, maybe they have a different standards, and I said I know what beauty pattern looked like. I've seen it on a TV. I know the stand so we you have to have your own sponsor, you have to have your clothes lines, you have to have so many people. It'd like I said, it takes the village to get the winner up. You know, I had nobody, not even like my wildest dreams or things. So I said to myself, okay, let's do it, but you guys have to come with me. So if they say no, I'm gonna like yell at you, like, you know, being mad at you, and you're going to take all the blame. They said, okay, no problem. So I go there for the preliminary you know, like you know casting, and they ask me the first thing. They ask if I'm Arminian, and I'm half Arminian. It was I mean in the ASPERA and I said yes, you don't look like I mean, and I'm like yeah, my mom is Ukrainian. Um, okay, so say something in our Meanian. So I start saying things in our Meanian. So my friends were with me. There were all Arminians, look just like the Armenians. My sister was with me to social look just like our mean and very dark skin in dark eyes, dark hair everything. We were like two different people from two different, let's say, like families. We did not look like each other at all. So and everybody was like, yeah, she'said. I mean she goes on a Meni in school, you know, you know stuff. So they believed and of course I started speaking to them in Armenian and like room, okay, let's sign and now let's see what happens. So they looked at me, you know, ask few questions, and they said, okay, you made the first cut. You can be part of but but they told me that there will be a few, few different cards, you know, before the pattern. You know they will be preliminary. You know you have to go for the rehearsal, rehearsal, and that's what happens, you know, in the real in the real page, and you know you have to also get to preliminary. So the job is pretty much already know who the winner would be. Just it just a show for all of it, because everybody, all the winners are selected behind the stage. So period, end of story. And that's why it's very, very political in some sort of others or another. So I go there and they said, okay, our rehearsal starts on Monday's on Monday at six PM, be sharp. So my goal is, oh my gosh. After the school I would just do my homework very fast and I we just go to that place for rehearsal and they would teach us how to do the cat walk. They would, they would ask them, they would have professional, you know, model to come and teach us how to do the professional catwalk, like, Oh, you know, I can barely walk. Yeah, okay, cat walking now. So will help. You got girls, if you bring your high heels, because the more you practice walking on the high heels, the better and confident you will be on a stage. So Andy. And then in a ten, ten days or a week, they told us that will be pretty that will be another cord prior to the to the pageants. So I was so nervous, I was so scared. I'm like, okay, the week, week goes by and I see there was a cord made and I was like, oh my gosh, they had to cut at least half of the people that we were. They didn't want there were. We had the their their goal was to have twenty on a stage, twenty girls on a stage. Yeah, but we had double. We had I think there was a treepole girls on our you know casting, the casting, because there were judges. They're kind of like looking at each other. Cant they would come and glance like you know that they would maybe make a circle, like make a like a special like, you know, not to their in. I had that would give the recommendations, and so I made that cod so now it's a beauty page and time. So then we had to rehearse, but on a...

...stage where the beauty passion would be. So we would go there, we would do it again. Another another walk, another cat a cat walk, another where where everybody should stand, how you should come and pose and stand. So every everybody had their own places and such. So they would tell us how to go around with the BEA, with a swimsuit competition. And I said swim suit competition for sign up for that because in my culture, you know, women has to help their own standards, you know, it has to be a like a pure purity. And they said no, it's not going to be, you know, two pieces, just one pieces. Fine. I'm like even one piece, I don't care. With like ten pieces and it's still kind of embarrasing, you know, I really don't do and how did they even do that? It was just mind boggling to me. But you know, and Fort I said to myself, well, I'm not going to make a cut to the to this into the swimsuit competition. You know portion of it, so I don't even have to worry about it. So I said, I'll just gonna do, you know, the first one, second on the talent show, and then and then I'll be maybe there was okay, it's time to cut her and she'll be done with it. Yeah. So you know, the beauty pattern starts and it was such an energy. It's a different energy than when you rehearse complete that much is like has so much butterflies. You are you don't care if you're going to win, but that desire to win even increases higher and higher. You let you you already made these far. You may useful. Go all the way, Lona, because it will be kind of you know, just just do it. You know why not? So I said, you know, to myself, of course there's lots of doubts, but the energy that was in the audience, everybody were cheering, all these noises in the dress rehearsal, in the dressing rooms, where we could feel bad energy to just transformed through the door. Nobody cared about we were changing and stop. Nobody even looked at each other. Nobody had time for each other. We all minding our own business. We were we had the time. So I go on the stage and there's the first time during the our beauty page and when I saw the new contestant content, I've never seen her ever again. Looked like she was a part of that, somebody else from the judges. She was a relative or soul, and there was a gossip, you know, like that. She's you know, she was predestined to win, to get the time and stuff, and usually this is how it happens. You know, in a beauty passion you have the it's a very political so there and their goal was to select one that was pure minion, you know, first place, the Asper sect the first, and then another place, also, another army, and then we had a Georgian girl who, because it's was in the country of Georgia. So they will worry that. You know, we respond or respect that country and we acknowledge that that Georgian women are also beautiful as well and such. It was very set up and I'm like, I'm like a hybrid. I don't feed anywhere. So as we were walking and doing all kind of things. I all of my neighbors and friends became my sponsors. I would I would just back from them the clothes that I wanted. I'm like, just just tell give me what you have, I'm going to select what I'm going to wear, and so I will be, you know, presentable, and things for every for casual where we have, we had business where we had talent show and we had we had to make our own avant guard from the potato sack. Wow. So I made my own dress from the gave us potato sacks and they had we had to do things, since I had a very good imagination and I had to practice on my dolls prior, like when I was growing up, you know, so it was easy for me to do it. So I made on the bottom of this the skirt. I put in English I love you in red and I'm like, I cannot believe, it looks fantastic. They loved it, they absolutely loved it. But so we all go there and I see the mother of the, you know, predestined winner. She was taking Valerian Care, you know, drops, and that's the drops that, when you are nervous or anxious, you take it to come, your nerves down, come and I come to learn that she was nervous because her daughter was selected winner prior to the walk and and all the audience were cheering my name, everybody. So they're like Ilona for the winner, she's our winner, Ilona, Ilona. Yeah, and my name never sounded so good that time. I was like,...

I who are those people? What happened? I don't know's you have any idea what I'm wearing? You know, in terms of who was my sponsor, it was not the like good. She none of this. You know, our money, just regular second you know, clothes, yes, but and she was nervousome and she thought that, you know, judges are going to change their mind and the since everybody were predetermined. You know, I have the in a backstage, very quick between we be between the changes, you know them. Organizer comes to me and he asked, Ilona on the what do you know those people who are cheering for you? I'm like, no, I don't, but you were in trouble. If I do, you know, because if something goes wrong, different not to and they got scared. They got you know, there was a big massive people were, you know, calling my name and he goes. I don't know what happened in between the stage, but I made a cord. So now I have to wear my swimsuit and like I don't even have a swim suit. Yah, and the girl who was eliminated, she comes to me and she said, you know what we were like one size like, you know on that. Do you want to wear my swimsuit? You know I'm not going to use it anyways. I'm like yeah, sure, you know. So she was kind enough. You know, usually women get like our girls get jealous and they would never do anything. So for me it was a great surprise and I really thank her for that. And she like really genuinely wanted to help me out with that. so as between that that things would happened. That organizer goes to the to the judges, and mentions that and judges are like what are we gonna do? But are we gonna do? You know, we only have our people, you know, we cannot change our mind and such. So they said, how bad, we create another category where she can win. So otherwise those crowd are going to chew us up, and we just careful about that. And what? And so all the winners, and I have no idea what went behind behind the things. All. We knew that there was a new girl, never seen. She was pretestinates was very obvious. I saw the mother of the first winner was taking all of her special drops to come from her nervestyll obvious, very political. So I've told to myself, you know, I don't have a chance. You know, I gotta semi finals. I got to the finals and then now there's a music and music stops and they going to announce the winners. So we knew that. They announced the winner of them, that Arminian girl I've never seen before in my life during the rehearsal. How she appeared, I have no idea. Yeah, at miss the ASPER, and then they go down and then they announce me as old miss ultimate people's choice winner. So I got idle of the most voted, you know, and although entire country ward it for me, she know and and you know, I surprised myself. I've never knew it would happen. I've never had any anticipation. It happens. So I'm glad that things like that, you know, like when you know like sometimes things happened better than what you expected. Yeah, and if you do not take a risks and pursue your dreams. You will never know the answer what it will be, and I've learned the life lesson. You know, do not base your opinion of yourself on somebody else's opinion of you, and I also learned that up, like I always use that phrase. Opinions are just like arm peats. Everybody's got them, but most of them stink. Yeah, so, and that's why I had to be careful not to base, if I would base my opinion of myself based on what my relatives would tell me. Right, she's ugly. Look at her nose, look at her ears, look at her color of the hair. She's just completely and I grew up like, Oh my H Mama, I'm ugly. You know so, and my mom would always say, don't don't worry about them, they're just jealous. You know, you're you're the beautiful. I'm like, yeah, you're my mom. Of course you're going to tell me that, but, but, but validation of of you know, that cursed was broken when I got validated of who I was and how everybody else so me. You know, they may see my soul right, they may see my actions, they might see my attributes. They may see my qualities before they see the facade that we all have. You know, yes, we all. We all had our MAKEUPS, there are hairs were of course different. We all had to, of course, dress up for this special occasion. But I think what stands out to you personality, it's the your the Mianor your confidence in that and and even during them. I think...

...that's how I want everybody. During the talent show we were asked to Recite Armenian poems in Armenia Wow, and at that time I didn't read or write Arminian. I I learned after it, because nobody taught me that. I knew how to speak and that's it. So what I did, I was rehearsing, I tried, I wrote down Arminian poem into Russian and I tried to and I put it here all my arm and as I was sending you know a little bit, as I was saying, you know, I'm like, okay, maybe I'll do like this, as I was talking to you know, with my hands. Nobody will see, will see it by but you know, people already knew that, you know, but nobody in front of me will, will notice that. And I was so nervous I couldn't even read nothing. I started like it is real lines and I stopped and liked and then they took know, everybody said, you know, do again, do it again. So I do it again. I say it's three lines and I stopped. I freeze. So and then I start smiling and I can like I was like said something, you know, very nice. I'm like, well, are you guys try me so much that? You know, your energy got me so overwhelmed I even forgot about my poet and the sty something, and that's how I think I want them because of my personality and how sincere I was. I didn't tried. So I just smiled and I said, you know, like I love you're something like inside of me. I was chewing myself up, you idiot. How could you do that? You yeah, what happened, but sometimes I cannot control this energy so overwhelming there and you get your your anxiety level goals, like like to the roof, just completely. And I remember, though, the song, the first song that we use when we when we walk to our first it's by Nana. It says I'm lonely. So and it became for something. I know the message big DA time. I didn't speak any English, so big, you know, for me it was just the sound of the music and we all kind of were seeing I'm lonely, lonely, and we thought it was cool. But but it was very sad song for some reason. But the music, the bid was just right for that, for that, you know, stage, yes, for that walk that we did, for that special category that we had. So that kind of became and after the beauty page and I got that tape right away and I was listening. It was remembrance. But for the second part, you know, of course we got we got a winner and I was granted that trip to go to Arminian, my fatherland. All trips are paid, I think is done. So at that point I was granted a bodyguard, chauffeur and also access to the private jet. So I had all that and of course small boiling, spoiling moments that I got over there when I read so I'm like, okay, bring it on, spoil me, I deserve yeah, it was like I have nobody around me to celebrate that. It's I mean, do I we spoil? I don't want to like look like you know, I'm just so like you know the prideful or arrogant about that. I wanted to celebrate that in rejoice with the people that I care and love, like my parents, my sister, you know, few friends. But I think it was just just for me. I've learned a lot of lessons over there. What I saw and communication and contact and networking there that was not necessarily was right, and that's was something that I stopped my, let's say, career to go further because what I saw that influence that decision in my life. And when I when I returned back, you know, I faced jealousy from my own best friend and we we had another party that in an ambassador's suite in ambassador like a castle, where we were cold, to celebrate our and share our tree, you know how it was, and our and discuss our future plans, about signing the contract or you know, what we want to do with our careers and such. Yeah, and I go to that place. Ambassador was there. Usually we I had a very good relationship with ambassador, so I've seen him multiple times. He was very nice, but this time he was changed. He was very short with me and kind of very rude, I would say. So I go to his place. It's at like a...

...big castle. Of course it's Sol he's embassy and such, and everybody else arrived already and they were waiting for me. So I got there before we even started. He said, he says this, I have announcement to make, and I said, well, you know, that's fine, so Ilana, you're going to be you are disqualified. I'm like, Huh, Huh, yes, disqualified. And I said what happened? He says that we got a news that that your dad sold the sold his car to bribe the judges for you to win, because you were not supposed to win. You know, something has happened. So at that moment, like I got so embarrassed for that humiliation that I did not deserve. I could not speak. I could not wait to go home and share my pain and devastation with my mom. So I don't even know what happened after I left. I don't even care. And you know, and there was a another major reward. That was a waiting for the winners, you know, for me to go to the Greece and to to go around, you know, the world, the tree. So and he said, I'm disqualified from it, and I go home and my mom said, don't worry, if you're not going to go, nobody's going to go because, you know, whatever just happened is such a lie and it's not true. Of course we know it's not true. It wasn't true at all. We were very poor, we barely have our meat, you know, needs met it. My Dad still had his car and it's just, you know, it's not logical what they said. However, you know, I was wondering what happened. WHO said that? What, yeah, emptied them to that. You know, weeks later we get the call and one of the organizer, you know, was talking to my mom and my mom asked, you know, here and what what happened to to this, to the news? Who? Who lied about my daughter like this? And he said please, don't, don't tell anybody. But her best friend, who didn't make a cod, who was also in the beauty passion, we will make a card, she came to us and she shared that that's what happened. So and it was the best who betrayed me like this in the in that area, and it was very, very, very painful to me. Of course, I cut her off. You know, I was very cordially nice. You know only high by, but I would never let her in into my world and I did not want to see anything about her world as well. She she knew she did something wrong and and got very, you know, sorry for that, but you know, what's done's done, and it's another life lesson that I've learned about that people can betray you. To Be careful about who you hang out with and people can use you, abuse you, betray you, trade you and and I was very hurt, very surprised. So and then after this call, in two days, we get a call from ambassador himself and he started to apologize. He said I should have verified the information prior to accuse her, and I should. It was just it just happened so fast. It went to the press, it went to the media and we didn't know what to do and we had to disqualify you. So we can and it's like he is it okay? We make make make up with to you and can I send you my personal chauffeur to bring it to, you know, to come to visit us, and we'll be able to kind of publicly, kind of restore her title back again. And and then he said this big you know, is that I don't know what happened, but we have disqualified the rest of the people to go to the truth, you know, that go to the to the true sir. Nobody. Nobody went and and such. So my mom said, yeah, that's right, because they every and even they knew that that wasn't true and because they couldn't say nothing because all of their their their places were already predetermined. So if they would have back me up, because they want my place themselves us. Yes, they were all because of their own kind of, you know, covering their own rerends. Certain. Yeah, so and, but I had nothing to cover. So they said, well, one, you know, like darkness doesn't light like light. So and every time there's a light in the room, ors there's some kind of positiveness in a room, this darkness is trying to push it out and eliminate that out of the any area, in a workplaces, in a school places, in a in any company places, in any of these places like...

...this, that kind of pushes it it out because it's so comfortable without light, you know, because and and I beg that time. I didn't realize that it was a sign from God that that he's always going to protect me from any negative situation from anything that would would, you know, to prevent me from making mistakes, for to prevent me to fail or get burned even even deeper and get hurt even harder. That will be hard to recover from it. And because if that would not happen, I probably would have signed a contract and would go on that on that journey, on that career path, which would completely corrupt me, because that side, what I've seen during my tree, is completely corrupted. Yeah, so, and this is not who I am. And I know that sometimes chasing the money, fame and your, you know, authority or career and power can cost you big time and can cost your integrity, your trust, you know, loyalty and and good people around you. So, and I'm so glad, because I would I would not be strong enough to make this decision because I wouldn't know better. But I think God kind of prevented me. He's like, you don't know, maybe you thought that was your loss, but, tea, it was my protection of you. So you will not even get like in a swamp. When you go to the swamp, it's so it gets you down. Yeah, there's no way out and you will be completely ruined. With all I made you out of. You know what I gave you, essential parts of your life. It will be all ruined. So I'm thankful for this experience. I still have my title, I'm still that and and stuff, so I'm still part of that amazing experience. Got Still spoiled me from everything deserved, the lemo, the private jet bodyguard, the the Shauffeur, the special gives that I was showered every day, and the five star hotels, the marbles, you know, the golden spools I was eating with. So it was just, I think was good. But what I'm glad that it's not something that I chose to pursue my life. Hmm Wow. I mean, congratulations for for, you know, getting that title and going through that and like it's so crazy to think that you know, all of that experience from a beauty padgeon and this that you you grown and taking so much from that process and, like you said, being criticized and being having negative word said to you by, you know, your neighbors or people around you, you know, based on where you from and what you look like. And Yeah, it's like, you know, going through that be pageant kind of, like you said, you that fear of, you know, is what they're saying right, and it's like, you know, you're you had to kind of go through that kind of like, you know, firm that you know there was that there isn't anything wrong and you yes, and I was, you know, like I think that validation was important for me because, as a teenager, will actually like younger doubt, let's say, for me, leaning through that lies in my life about my my let's say, appearance, because I did not resemble them, kind of was eating me a life was was completely ruined. My self confident and self esteem h little by a little. And if I didn't have all of these audience, entire country right like ruined for like, you know, voted for me and like, you know, like just rooting for me during that time, I think it would be it would have been different, you know, would have been really, really doing and I needed that. I needed that validation to kind of say hey, guys, you know back of yeah, now try after that. Nobody has ever ever called me Ugoly, like my relatives net told me I could. It was like in their face. Yeah too, but you know, the life already responded to them. On my behalf, so and and stuff, so and that, and that's why, you know, I now, I know that God's hand is on me no matter what I do, either it's a workplace or any other place, that it hurts sometimes when...

...people say negative things, like in your situation. Sometimes, right, yeah, now, some, but in the same time you just have to know how confident you are and who you are. You know, it's very important. Who gives you this energy? Who is the ultimate judge? Right, it's not people that judge, it's him that judges you and the way he sees you. Like he sees me as a princess, as a royal guilty, as the Queen, as as a beauty winner, right, every day, and that's that's kind of messages I want to wake up on a daily basis. You know, it's it's more than just, you know, external beauty, and it's more, it's essential. It's what what your heart looks like, I think, because right now I feel so terribly bad for our young girls who are who have a wrong concept of the beauty. Yeah, it's such a fake thing and they think that that's going to sustain them in lies, but it's not. They have it's just it just devastating. What would I see them going through and how influence, how this media and those does magazine influence that'll see there are self esteem and selfconfidence to who they are, and that paints me big time and that's why the book that I'm working on is geared towards that. I'm very vulnerable. I'm opening up in that letting them know about building their self confidence inside of them and do not speak for approval on somebody else, because it's gonna cost them and it's going to be very, very painful. Yah Know, I completely agree and I think you know with you know what you going through that process like. You've learned so much about you know yourself, you know, but other people, trusting other people, your friends, are who you can rely on. How important it is to believe in yourself, isn't it, and have that support network there and I think, like you said, we'll go you know, people today they don't really know themselves or they doubt themselves and compare themselves to over people and how they look and all, how their mental look. And you know, like you said, you got to tell yourself you are beautiful and you are good enough and support yourself. Isn't it being positive? Yes, and that's what that's there. That the biggest lie of this world. When anything will look at TV, magazines, media, Youtube, being the social networking, is complete mess. Their biggest message for us, for any ages especially, you know, the keys are very influential, the teenager, is when they tell you this light, that you are not good enough, and that's what we are all striving and they're giving us this image. Is what good enough is. You lose some weight, you will be good enough. You do this makeup, you will be good enough. You go on that Diet, you will be good enough. You do this surgery, in a plastic surgery, you will be good enough. You know, you become you, where this kind of clothes, you will be good enough. You have to become this cat, is a voice in society and you will be good enough. You have to accomplish and, you know, complete something and then you will be good enough. And these are all lies, because the more we do, we will never stop, you know, being good enough for them. You know, when we do one thing, there will be always something to do, and that's basting. It's it's prices expensive, it's excruciating, its destrumental to people. As mental emotions, the physicals, appearance and also the spiritual part of who they are. Yeah, now I think you're you're like you hit the nail on the head, so it's be like. I agree. I think it's almost like people are seeking this completion, that there is no completion. It just everything just don't going and people are chasing like you said that that, you know, the keep by the said, keeping keeping up with the Jones. People are so focused on how they appear to other people, are not looking how they are actually feeling themselves and what they're happy doing. Too busy seeking the next thing, to look a certain way, to their friends of the family, to society, social media and its prevent yourself, isn't it? Yes, and that's what my message is when I when I speak to the you know, let's said, to the young ladies or even the women like my age or a little bit more, who got affected by those words that stuck into their lives, into their head,...

...who shape them who they are now, because they base their opinion of themselves of their's. And we sometimes become a danger when we shape our identity on someone else's opinion of ourselves. And that's another danger, the risk zone where we all leave and we become so comfortable. We feel like we need their approval to, you know, to be validated. Who We are, our essence, of our importance, who are of you know, our happiness, our joy, and it destroys us, destroys us. We are not productive, we are not effective in our lives. We beat ourselves up because this world is so competitive. They want you to feel horrible, because the more horrible you feel, you will not take care of yourselves, you will not accomplish yourself, you will beat yourself down and therefore you're not competitor with them anymore. So one person down, few to go. So and that by you have to be very, very and that's why that's my biggest message to grow cell there. So and when I speaking I try to emphasize a more about that and I'm just going to empower them about put them some actions into their into their lives right feel them up. We kindle the joy that that essence, you know, their uniqueness, the identity, their personalities. It's okay to be different. You know, I don't want to be like anybody else. It would be boring. So you need to celebrate our diversity. You know, our special culture, special language is special, looks, special talents, special, you know, special hobbies that, you know, wood drives us every day. You know, I think this that makes our old beautiful and special if we all look different. So not like everybody else, like in you know, you open the magazine and like okay, you have to look like me or you out. Yeah, yeah, this message and, you know, to prevent, to encourage, in power and just inspire. Yeah, no, I I completely agree and I think it's a lovely you know, you got lovely values and lovely message in place that I think a lot of people can take from, you know, in benefit from and, you know, apply to their lives, because you know it's true what you're saying and you've had, you know you've got and through that, you've gone through that process, you know, to me and through that beauty budging, you realize, you know, how important is to believe in yourself and to not care about what we people think. And I think like it's really inspiring and I think like it's so important, you know, to accept who you are, believing yourself, because you know there's only one of ours. Isn't as a person. Yes, we shouldn't compare ourselves. Of a people and you know, the chances of being a human being a lot form you trillly into one, you know. So you know life is sacred and we need to buy our lives that way and be the best version of ourselves in help of the people you know, through their journey. Yes, my biggest mess message is to to them when I speak is that they are meant to be on this planet the way they are, with their talents. So when we so, they will need to stop to compare themselves with others because they will never leave, leave up to their expectations. So they have a special purpose to be here on earth, just like you and me. We may not know what it is, but we need to believe. Some people found their path, some people, like God, is connected, but we all have the special purpose to this life just maybe to make somebody else happy, you know, just to maybe be a best gardener in the world, you know, planned the special roles, be greatest Baker, you know, just maybe help your your your own neighbor in some situation. So there's everybody has its own purpose. We all like a I call angels, you know, we appear when we least expect but when we most need. Need it, you know, and and you never know like it. That's the secret message, the special you know, because antels are messenger, right, messengers. So, yeah, the Jer you know, leaving this life. You know, be a productive don't beat yourself up if you not successful, a as people out there or your neighbor, your friend, your relative, and...

...sad you never know, maybe you will. You will. God will use this Hance, Christian Anderson's story of the Ugly Duckling Right and and your the life will surprise everybody. Maybe he's preparing you to ambush everybody when you turn it from this ugly duckling, the dark, you know, innocent being, into the flourishing intluence, this beautiful so one that nobody else has expected. So and then, and I remember, as I was after the stage, I remember how people were marking me. I remember that that story of the Dog Ugly Duckling, that I was that ugly darcumed. Everybody would point at me. She's different, she's so different, she doesn't look like us. With that and in then and when I turn into this beautiful swan on a stage that even I did not expect, what I would look like in when, you know, I put myself together and things like that. That, yes, I really felt like a like that swarm, you know, when flowerish in front of everybody, and kind of just everybody on us. Yes, yes, and even judge is deliver Dona. We we did not expect you to look like this, because usually I, you know, I didn't give my all doing the yeah, keep this element of, you know, surprise and kind of and such. So and Deliq, we did not expect you to look the way you did. You completely blow out our mind, you know, and even they admit that, you know, was I was just really I deserve that. I absolutely deserve that. So it's amazing, amazing. It's amazing, like you know. But I said, like your story of you know, everything that happened and you know how you were spoken to and you know your beliefs around and the process of going through. You know, pushing out is pushing on your comfort zone, isn't it? Like you didn't want to do it, but your friends what they push you to do it. As as you know, you on a lie almost round. Yeah, to kind of kind of tuned into yourself. They I mean like come to accept yourself through that, and they do. was something that, you know, like I think we all take a risks in our life with any any decisions or any opportunities that we have that comes. It comes our way. So you may turn out that job opportunity, but and it's risky, but it's not what you wanted, even though the money is great. But then something bigger, better comes along. So we all make some kind of decision every single day as a decision. Do I want to get up a going to go to work, my going to be productive? So, but there's some decisions in our lives that's really come unexpectedly, you know, out of blue, out of just just out of the corner, right, we turn the corner and boom at here it goes. It's just fly out there. So sometimes we never know what is a very awaiting us when we turn that corner. All we have to do is just just to turn the turn up, turn the corner and stop and something big and great may happen to us in yeah, now I feel not so true enough. And that's a really nice, really nice message, and I think like yeah, you got to say that leap of faith. I when you you're to jump in, dive and fly unknown because you know opportunes he might arise, something my come up for you, and that's how you grow as another person. You don't grow if you stay in the same place. You have to. It's for it you're not going to appreciate yourself and and and the true character. I think it reveals the really essence of the true character. Is like, who are you when no one else is watching? That's the true meaning of character. Who are you when no one else is watching? Are you determined? Are you like self motivating? Are you just just happy and energetic? Or because in front of somebody else we always put facade, we always change, we always become a different person. So I think when you know who you are and I think when no one else is watching you, I think that's the true happiness and enjoy when you're just like, I don't care what other people say, you know, I'm just enjoying my time, I'm just happy. I'm just doing my homework, let's say, right or working on this or that, or even playing the playstation, but I'm content, I'm just happy, you know, and that what will drive you. Yeah, massively. That's really very nice and I think, yeah, that's that clear...

...and it's, like you said, how you are when nobody's watching when you're doing and, you know, being content in yourself as a person. Yes, and doing what you love, isn't it? And it's amazing. It's yeah, it's it's been great, if I'm really, you know, humbled for you, like, you know, sharing a story about the pageant and talking about it, and I think like what we know, what we spoke well, you spoke about it's really powerful and I think it will help people, because people might not believe in themselves or the might think certain things of themselves, and they can kind of see the the trials and replations that you have to go through and you know, you came out bever end of it. I think you know. Yeah, it's important as a person because we're people are almost trying to find themselves an external things. That makes sense. They say're doing things to try and find themselves, and you know, it's within yourself, isn't it? So sometimes you might have to do something externally, like pageant or some things, to kind of find yourself. That make sense. But it's yeah, sometimes like inner, Inner, inner forces going to mativate you to do something externally. So without interest confidence, you will not be able to export yourself. Externally out there and stuff. At that time I didn't have anything internal to give, but I had to do something external to find internal. So sometimes it works both ways, you know. But yeah, very careful and be sensitive about risks and valleys out there. So yeah, I agree. Now this has been a pleasure talking to hell no again. I'm really grateful to have you on the podcast again and it's been least been really inspiring and motivating what you said, and I think you have. Think you'd do an amazing you know what you're doing and I think you do it now. Is Really Great. You know, you've working on quite a few lot, you know, quite a few projects. Yes, well, and I wish you all the best of ever that you do and think it's great. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, you too, you know it's you walk. You for heavy. You Welcome, but now I have a great day and all you too. Thank you, you, thank you. I would do you too.

In-Stream Audio Search

NEW

Search across all episodes within this podcast

Episodes (102)