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The Parrsitivity Podcast
The Parrsitivity Podcast

Episode 26 · 1 year ago

The Parrsitivity Podcast #Episode 76 Adrian Weatherill

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In today's episode I'm reunited with a great Friend of mine: Adrian Weatherill, in today's episode we talk about the importance of stepping out of our comfort zones, society, how to push ourselves and much more! @santacruzbrit --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/the-parrsitivity-podcast/message

Hither. My name is Adam Po and the podcast host posity to podcast. In this podcast, you will be listened to me connect with people from different walks of life, from the military to people in the music industry, to people in the SELFHELP industry and many other areas of life. In this podcast I'll be talking about topics from self help, mental health, motivation, spirituality, mindset, society, current affairs and much, much more. If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe, share and let me know your feedback. And my main intention on this podcast is to have a positive impact for you, the lit the listener, to take something positive from it, to apply something positive into your life from this. Now with without further ado, let's go to podcast and enjoy. Hi, and welcome to poses podcast. On today's episode, on really night it again with Adrian where war. In this episode we talked about really stepping out of your convert zones, the importance of believing in yourself, doing what you love and really growing as a person. Now, sit back, relax and enjoy this episode. But not hired. You I doing your right. I'm good, Adam. Thanks very much for invitement. Is Great. Yeah, no, you're very welcome. It's good to finally meet face to face, you know, like as the face dread. Did you do that? We can do during during, obviously this is lockdown. Yeah, and the fact that you're over. You're in Wales, right, I'm in I'm in Cormo. Cormo similar, similar to wealth, very similar. I get them. Yeah, country side. I was wondering why, you know, sometimes I end up in the wrong place, but there you go it. Yeah, no, it's yeah, it's kind of similar. I mean that, you know, hilly terrain and like country and stuff. So similar re sembulance, but beautiful part of the world. Call Love It. Yeah, it's it is nice. It's different, different world. Really it's been. It's been interesting with this whole lockdown situation. How yeah, things have been down here as I think people allowed to kind of come on, I be now. Can't, you know, become sites and things like that. So it is getting busier, but you know, I just think, well, is what it is. Is You anywhere, Neil? Do you know Har and porth? Pou and porth is about forty minutes. Okay, there too. I'm a terrible surfer but I love it anyway. Just loving in the water and surfings has an excuse to get in the water. Given A P you're mad, you're mad. Yeah, but it's just such a lovely thing today. It's just feel that connection with with nature and the water. So, yeah, I was down here in port a couple of years ago. Nice. Yeah, it's a nice part of the world. I'm POW and porth there. It's really nice and quired there. I think I did go there as a Nice beach there there's a pop called the watering hole. They have lots of familiar lots of live gigs and music there, which is quite good. Yeah, it's not really not that you're out there really, really nice. Yeah, I take could advantage of it, take full advantage of it, because, you know, sometimes the things that are right on our doorse that we we take for granted. Yeah, I agree. Like I think I moved up here. I moved down here when I was nineteen, just to a nineteen from Nottingham. So I I hate it to begin with because I've been in a city for nineteen years. Yeah, and then it was like I know, no friends, you know, cut off from the things up a normal yeah, was I think I've...

...kind of learned to appreciate it as time has gone on, you know, as I've matured a bit. Yeah, so it's really weird, doesn't I? You know, like you say, you can take things for granted sometimes and then sometimes things have to happen or you have to mature to kind of appreciate it stuff. Well, yeah, I mean using your word mature. I just like to say what use the way evolved because or even just the debt, because it can happen to anyone at any time of their life, whether they're young or they're older. We, as humans, we get we get used to situations. It's just who we are. We get comfortable somewhere, we get used to a period of time in a place, either geographically or mentally. Yeah, and then it's very difficult for us as humans, I mean we're hot wire to to sort of resist change, and that's something that we need to really address in ourselves and we need to push our boundaries of comfort and go and seek somewhere, and I don't mean just physically, where perhaps we we thought wouldn't suit us or that we wouldn't like, and look for the positives in it. I'm sure when you move down from Nottingham down to the lovely corn wall. As you just said, you didn't like it to begin with. It was the complete antithesis of everything you were used to and everything you liked and enjoyed about Nottingham, about the city line. But no doubt that since you've been there you've been looking at the positives and now you've come to love it and treat it as home. Yeah, yeah, no, I grew, I think, like you'd said. You know, you go, you go to some places and we can kind of get stuck on our ways. Yeah, you know, I love their behaviors and where we are and I think, like you know, the whole kind of current situations like a good example as well, because I got used our things are going how things are, and then people are like they've taken on new behabies and new habits and then going and doing, you know, probably going back to work or you know, you know, a new system of habbits and actions. People are going to be like that. That's why this whole lockdown, this whole situation of the pandemic in general, I think that the real, the real difficulty isn't avoiding catching the disease and it's actually dealing with the change that's involved. Yeah, with avoiding the disease. That is the real problem for us as human beings, I think, and I think that's our biggest struggle. The struggle isn't old. You know, I'm going to catch it if I go here and I'm I two meters away from this person of that peasant. That wasn't that. It wasn't so much that, it was the actual overall change. First of all of us being stuck indoors for three months. Yeah, massive and instantaneous change, and you either adapted or you went slightly made, which is normal. I mean so so a lot of people did. They got frustrated and got angry and depressed. These are to be expected. These, these are emotions, these are behaviors to be expected. And and now that lockdown looks like it's going to be easy, if not lifted completely, we're going to have to adapt it again to being out of our homes, which will be used to site. Finally, after three months, some of us are probably getting really comfortable with it. Yeah, I've got this, you know, I can handle this. Yeah, and also, not right, you're back at work. Will hang on a minute. I've just got used to this and now you ask me to. Yeah, so, these are these are this is what I'm talking about, is that it's how fast human beings can change or evolve or adapt, whichever word you want to use, which ever adjective fits best for you. But, but this is the issue that faces us as human beings is how quickly can you adapt? And that the bottom line is a quickie adapt the quick you survive. And this is something that, like anything in life, the more you practice it, the better skilled you get at it and the more we get used to and the more we get comfortable in just one way of life and one way of living and one set of behaviors following one set of regulations. God forbid if those regulations change, if those rules change, if that path changes. This is what the lockdown shown us, drastically changing the the scenario. Imagine people who suddenly get get told they've got cancer or some other serious life changing illness. Yeah, or there are involved in a serious accident and they lose a limb. Their life changes like that, and this is all part pass of the same. The same thing that I'm talking about is how do we, as human beings, get our brains, which is a muscle, to to adapt, because this is our strength. It's like a muse as like as going to the gym. You go to the gym to stay flexible, to stay healthy, to lift bigger weights, to be stronger mentally and physically, and we should do the same thing with this, with the brain and especially, and it's there's so many ways you can do...

...that. But the thing, the thread that I'm talking about today is, is the thread of change. Yeah, when you see some they do this. I forgot what it is because I'm not a gym bunny, but but yeah, I go there and I see them mix it up with the weights. Yeah, so they'll go for a super heavy one and then they go for a super light one. Yeah, and that that struck me is very interesting. When I watched someone do that and I asked them why stop the glass of why did you do that? You know, you're lifting thirty two kilos and then you're down to like ten. Yes, doesn't change. Had To make my brain work harder and the muscle work kinder because it has to suddenly adapt to lifting something heavy to something light. And he said it's not about the fact of lifting heavy, it's about the change. It's about the adaptation, and that really stayed with me just well, I'm remembering in this moment and I thought, well, that's exactly how our mind should be challenged constantly and we need to urge ourselves, because life isn't going to necessarily challenge us when, when, when we're ready for it. So it's prepare for these sudden changes in our life. Let's do things that push us out of our comfort zone. Let's lift that heavyweight and then lift that light weight. Let's do something a little bit crazy, let's let's mix it up and, for example, going back to you, you'd moved from nothing, you know, from a city all the way down to the sea. Yeah, I mean, it couldn't get more different. Yeah, no, I completely agree. Like I said, I think you know, we mentioned in terms of weights. It's important, like you said, to push ourselves and to grow and to, I just say, like, you know, get comfortably bit, get comfortable being uncomfortable. Yeah, it's like, like, you know, you grow through you know, if you use, if you live the same way all the time, you're going to go used to it. You're probably going to get actually exactly. You don't get the same routine. You mix it out yeah, and that's what makes you a more well rounded person and make makes you, you were, fitter person as well, because you're using all the different disciplines, and that's what we need to try and do in our own lives. It's try something, you try something different, makes it up. Yeah, I definitely grown up and that's how you that's how you evolved, isn't it? That's how you absolutely you know, you're thinking changes with that as well. You you develop your self esteem and confidence and I remember when a boat on the podcast, you know, ry audio, previously, you mentioned you like you traveled a lot and you yea gone to lots of different countries. I am nuts, that's you've was to grow and push yourself. Our your convert zone. Good going to absolutely I went to India, Israel, South America, Bolivia specifically. But yeah, that's just a few off the top of my head that I've been to and those places have challenged me physically, mentally, emotionally completely. There maybe the person I am today through, if you like, some of the TRAUMAS and difficulties that I had being in those countries and pushing myself. I was alone, I had to defend myself. Look after myself survive, and by doing that it's made me more aware, maybe more open m I would certainly recommend it to anybody. I mean not to follow my footsteps and do those things necessarily, but if you think about our lives, we tend to we're all guilty. I mean we all do it. I do it as well. We tend to follow a pattern where we think we're going to get a job, we're going to earn a living, we're going to have a family and the goal is just to end up in a nice, Nice House with kids and a dog and a cat and and that's the goal. Seems to be to be comfortable, and I've always had that. I'm no different to anybody else, you know. I always have that dream. Your aim is to be comfortable, in line, but lately I've been thinking really the aim should be to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. MMM. Can you deal with anything that life throws at you? Yeah, and that is the strength of mind that I think we should be looking for. We shouldn't be looking for that easy win necessarily, that easy job. I can do that, so I'm going to do that. That's easy money. Great. Okay, that's good, but you already know you can do that. It's like you're going to the Gym and knowing you can pick up a five kilo but a done bell. Yeah, I'm doing it. Then, if it's easy, how are you going to grow? How are you going to improve? How are you going to test yourself? How are you going to push your limits? There's no other way except lifting something that you're going to find difficult and you're going to hurt afterwards. That is what it's really all about. We need to translate that into our daily lives. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Not Saying for us, put put yourself through something that's painful for your entire day, but I'm just seeing you're going to go through periods, be a day, be in a week, be in a month, be in a year, be...

...in a season of a challenge, where you are finding life a bit hard, a bit complicated, doing things that you've never done before in your life, perhaps starting in business, perhaps creating a you've never done it before. Think, well, you normally I'd hire a web developer to do all this. Do It yourself, see if you can. Yeah, Test Yourself, and then you come out of it and some things to go. You know, what I know that that is most definitely not my strength. I was absolutely crap at it and I'm going to hire an expert. Great, finely, you've learned to me about yourself. It's like you trying to lift up a fifty kilogram done, bound go. You know what, I can't do that yet. Not Ready for going to build up to that. So go and do something else. It's taught you something. There's no losing, only learning. Right. Yeah, and you're going to find out that some things you can let it. Maybe you're going to lift up an eighteen kildo. Done any like. Wow, are you know? I really I can lift at him. Think I could live at and I can lift it. Same thing with some things that you push yourself through in your daily life. You think, I don't know, I haven't got the selfconfidence to do that. Do it and you may surprise yourself and you may go well, what was say? What was the fear I had about that all along? You know, I never thought I could do that. I did that with everything I did. Like I said, surfing, I just I just hired a rented out surfboard and just just took myself out in the water. Then take any lessons. I was just watching people. I thought, how hard can it be? What's the way it can happen? HMM, just go and do it. I mean, I did it. I didn't do it well, but it's I did it, but I did and I proved it to myself. I proved it to myself and anyone can do it. Yeah, I think it's so important. Are you said to throw yourself into the things that are hard, you know, and ask you know, ask yourself, you know, what am I going to get from this? You know why? Why is it hard? You know what I'm going to benefit from this. That's why I asked myself. I'm like, different away it's hurts. I like, you know why I'm going to get what I wa what am I going to gain from rather than you know, and that's quite a difficult thing to do. Absolutely, of course this. Because something hurts, you want to put it down. So it's like training, you said, your brain to go now, just yeah, can you come the we are. We are hot wired to resist this. So nobody should should be like, Oh, you know, but you know, it's hard. I know it's hard. to do. I don't want to do it. I'd be a psycho if, if, if I went for things that I thought, well, I know this is going to hurt me and I'm going to do it. I mean, yeah, you have to you have to realize that you were doing it for a specific reason. I'm doing this to learn more about myself and I'm doing this to know what my limits are. End Off. That's it. You're not doing it just because you're a bit psycho and you want you want to feel pain and you want to feel bad. You're doing it for a reason. You go to the gym for a reason, you go to a spin class for a reason and you know, and you must expect the pain. You know it's going to hurt. You know that there, that the spink class guy is is going to is going to push you, he's going to punish you and you're going to feel that pain when you come off that bike. But you go fully knowing, well, that that is what you're going for, that's what you're paid for. Yeah, you paid for that class, you psycho, but you then so we have to expect it and we have to realize that we're doing this for a reason and for a good reason and for the best reason. We're pushing ourselves to learn more about ourselves and to be stronger in the long run, to know more in the long run about ourselves. Yeah, by change, do it. No, I couldn't agree one I think you you've you bang on what you say. I think by you know, you just you just got to jump in and try. Yeah, it's not going to be easy, you know. Like, I think it's like anything isn't. Anything you do is not going to be used straight away, and I think we we rely instant gratification, like. Yes, we like I've been guilty of it. I've yeah, I like to hear the ground running and be confident at things and it's going to learn. It takes time. Yeah, this is, this is, this is. You know, I have the same thing. I liked hit the ground running. I like to think that that, you know, my first effort is the best Lofer. And this leads on to another nice little side thing to this, which is the ego. We have to we have to keep putting the ego down, we have to keep sort of pushing it down, because that is one of the problems in humanity, if you like, is that the ego keeps telling us know, or the ego keeps telling us that we we are, we are the best. You know, nothing is better than us. We're the best, we know everything, we can do anything, and that's all well and good, but there has to be a time when we put that down and we said listen, you know, not listening to the EGO. I'm not. It's not just about me. I want to know more about myself. I want to know more about my limits. But it's not necessarily just a show off. You don't need to tell...

...everyone what you can do, what you know, what your new skill set is. Just just go and do it and learn about yourself. Yeah, no, I feel that's major and having that's important. I think, like you said, if you're doing something just to show off or show the people you can do, it doesn't feel the same like okay, you might make a point that they that might feel good, but if you're doing something for yourself, I think you've got a lot more firing new motivation to see that through and probably do it better compared to just showing people on social media what you're doing. Like I see, everyone's different. I was got burn minds and people post what they want. But I don't post myself going through runs. I don't, you know, I just keep to myself and that I think out food. That makes me feel better because I'm I haven't got anything to prove. Like you said, it's start balance with you goot. Yeah, and that's that difficult thing where you know, we've all got an EGO. Yeah, of course it is. Start that balance, isn't it? Of knowing it. Well, this is it. This is what I'm talking about. Pushing your limits, learning about yourself for yourself. You're not doing you're not pushing those limits. You're not going to British military fitness and pushing yourself to show someone else that you've done it. HMM. You should be going to the gym, you should be pushing yourself, you should be going traveling alone, you should be going and doing and doing, starting your business or doing something that that you've never done before for you, not for anybody else. You should do it because you want to do it, because you want to know how it feels, because you want to tick that box and say, you know, I've always wanted to do that and I've just never had the guts or or the selfconfidence or the courage to do it. And you know what today's Soday, I'm going to do it. You do it for you. You don't do it anybody else. Don't do it because people are, have been, maybe telling you you should do it. You don't do it because you want to get one up on somebody. You don't want to do it for any reason other than you want to prove to yourself that you've tried it. Maybe you'll fail at it. This is the other thing I'm very conscious of. People saying, you know, go and do it, you can do it. Yes, there is that possibility, but I'm a big believer in balance. There is the possibility you will succeed and there is a possibility you will fail. Either way, you are guaranteed to learn something that you didn't know the day before. HMM. Yeah, we're on this planet to do one thing and that is to learn. Yeah, learn about ourselves and then about our end interaction of ourselves with other people and the nature around us. Yeah, now, I think I could agree on I think that's key. It's being a human being, isn't it? To learning new things and meeting New People and it makes you think and it kind of fish your perspective a little bit because you see things in a different way because you you know, you meet people who've got from different backgrounds and they've got struggles and you thing to yourself, Gosh, that person has been through more than me. Yeah, what, what am I complaining about? Or absolutely, absolutely, and this is the whole thing, keep pushing yourself. Go and you know, if you go abroad, don't just go to the for example, the terist hot spots, but don't see how the locals live. Yeah, I don't see how the locals to go and see what's going on. GOING, go and sort of dip your little telling in in the culture, the real consure, maybe even a little bit of the politics. Go and see what what makes other people take go and see what makes other people get emotional about. Go and see how they live and go and see how it differs from how you live. And some along the lines, as you say, if you might find people that you think, well, one am I complaining about? You guys have really got some serious issues that I couldn't even begin to deal with, that I couldn't imagine. But then again you might also think, you know what, we're all the same. We're all fighting we've all got problems and that's what makes us all one. We're all fighting about something that that isn't going right in our lives or that we want to correct or that we want to improve. Yeah, and the only way we're going to improve their only way we're going to win those fights and those battles is my pushing ourselves. Yeah, and Love Muscle. Yeah, that's I think. Yeah, my, I think you're right. I definitely agree and I think like and this whole I think this whole experience is being, like you said, one big challenge in so many ways. I think like we can only grow from this, I think some way, because it's complete from is completely out of converzone and some muspect, you know, even a slut Ho. Yeah, how did some people? You know, this is...

...something we can have contemplated. Probably, ever, it's somebody told you twelve months ago, you know, you a twelve months from now you're going to be stuck at home, you won't be allowed to do anything. You Womb, be let to go out, you're a little be allowed to see and makes you be like what you're talking about? Yeah, are you? What are you talking about? But here we are and some of us have been thrown together and some of us have been torn apart. Some of US have been stayed in the same house that we were just as lockdown happened. So some of us are having to live with our parents or living within laws or living, you know, it may be an uncomfortable situations. Some people are unlucky enough to have been separated at the time of lockdown and they haven't seen people for three months that they did that they care deeply about. So this all kinds of emotions going on. Yeah, I mean it's really a head case of this situation. Yeah, and although no one could have prepared you for this, and I appreciate that people, you know, people say oh yeah, but yeah, what could have prepared you? There's such a thing. Nothing, and I appreciate that completely. However, the fact that if you have tested yourself doing various things with various different types of people in various different types of situations, it helps you a little bit mentally, it helps you strength of mind how to cope with complex and complicated situations, and this is what we should be doing. Yeah, as much as we can do, as much as we can do, you know, as again, it's very important just to clarifying. No one's asking you to do something that's going to really put you at risk in life, either financial physical. It's like going to the genus. Why? I like using that analogy. You don't go and lift a five hundred Kila. Wait, you can't lift it, you just you can't. So just don't. But do push yourself with what you think you're comfortable with and push yourself a little bit more. HMM. Yeah, a certain like you. You definitely, when you reflect on that and you can see how far you've come, you feel good about yourself. Of course you do. Of course you did, because you've just opened up a new door. You've opened up new opportunities, new possibilities for yourself. You've done it. You've opened that door and now it's up to you to walk through that door should you wish to do so. But you've unlocked it. It's like a game. You've got the key to the door and it's up to you to unlock it whenever you want to. Yeah's definitely, isn't it? Like I think? I think from doing the PODCAST I've learned a lot. I think, like you know, I did my we first of do we use what I think it was, and the first fifteen I did. Yeah, we've done that was before this happened. Ye, yes, before Christmas. Yeah, quite a few months ago, and it's like yeah, but you know, like to begin with, me starting out, it was scary, I think at work. Yeah, and I think like it's weird as people, because we've all before we start something, sometimes you just gold negativity and you hold yourself like why is that? However, I'm not even tried you, but I've gold the negativity telling me it's not going to work. Yeah, but, like you said, when you try and you do ms, yeah, you grow and you you realize, you know, and it's you know, it's fascinating. You know. That's why I think we're so fascinating with people, because we're all different and it makes you wonder why, you know, we think are we do and why we absolutely all those things are the things that fascinate me as well at them. I mean this is just the eternal question what makes us tick and why? And it's a mixture. It's a mixture. We're all chemicals at the end of the day, and you know the how we're made up of. How much of a particular chemical interacting with other chemicals. It'll the result is different for everybody and it's a mixture of education, it's a mixture of culture, it's a it's a mixture of nature and nurture. All these things shape us. But as we get older and as we have more life experiences and as we become more independent, we have the ability, which is, which is this is the important thing. We have the ability to shape ourselves and some of us don't realize that we have that power and we just accept everything we've been taught. We just accept everything we see, we just accept everything we hear. HMM, and I'm awful people awakening, not rejecting everything, because no, I'm not a radical, but I'm just interesting in people saying, okay, this is everything I know so far as a human being, this is everything I know to be true, that I believe to be true. Now let me check it. Let me check it out for myself. Is it true what I've been told about X Y and said? Should I fear these people?...

Are these people bad for me? Is this situation bad for me? My Society tells me so, my community tells me so, my family tell me so. But what do I think? And not even think this is the even more to the point is I like empirical evidence, which is doing it for yourself, seeing it for yourself, smelling it, hearing it, touching it for yourself. That's empirical evidence. Do you know, with empirical evidence, what it is that that is important to you? What are your beliefs? M I want to I test. I continue to test myself everything I see on the news, every country I go to. Oh well, I've heard this about this country, I've heard this about these people. Will let me go and see for myself. Make up your own minds, and we can do that as humans, we can do that as adults, and we can do that if we push our limits, if we keep learning, we keep picking up those weights, we keep stretching our minds, and that's what we have to do. We have to do that. We must never just sit on the SOFA or our mind sit on the Sofa, and I just sit back and think, yeah, I know it all. Ah, no, no, that's really dangerous. There's so much other that we haven't done and that that we need to do. M Yeah, I mean you started podcast. I mean that's amazing. Yeah, that you push yourself out of your comfort zone to do this. HMM. Yeah, this is this is a step in the direction that you want to that you want to reach. You, I know that you're really really interesting in potentially working for Gary be at some stage. All this could be leading up to that, because you're having experience, you're learning how to do something, you're trying new things all the time. HMM. So that's what important. You're pushing yourself. You're doing something that you were worried about, you are selfconscious about potentially try to talk yourself out of at some point. Yeah, that's before you did it. Yeah, we all do that, and this is where you succeeded in, this is where we must all succeed is breaking through that barrier over a little little voice, and I head that says no, you can't do this, or you'll be crapper. This are you make a fool of yourself. Don't do this, you don't know what you're doing. You know an expert. Now, just tell that voice to shut up and take a back seat and give it your best shot. Yeah, not complete a completely agreeagor and funk you for, you know, saying that. It's really, really, really kind and really really means a lot. That's a true man. It's great what you've done function and I, like you said, I really appreciate that. You don't really means a lot and you know, from the bottom of heart, you know, it's great to you know today we you because you know that we when we do podcast, we talked about really good topics and it flows and I you know, I'm so grateful to you know, to be able to do this for you. Yeah, you know, you know it's UN grateful. It was you that found me, so I'm grateful to you. Yeah, so you will shows. It just shows you. You know, you've got a good eye, you've got a good ear for for people and getting great people in your show, which I love, listen to your podcast because of it, and just keep doing it. Yeah, because now you've found something that you never thought you could do and you do to yourself, most importantly, that you can do it, which means now you've got to start looking for a new challenge. Yeah, yeah, accountable, don't get count out and yeah, I know that's it look pretty challenge now you did. Is it done right? Yeah, yeah, that was yeah, nineteen. Yeah, no, I agree. I feel like you said, it's so import wanting to, you know, not get complute from them, just to, like you said, look at what you're doing. And I and I've kind of been thinking about that recently, like we've not questions to ask people, like I'm thinking. I usually I usually ask her and questions on it. You're on each podcast. I'm lightly kind of think of all the questions to us. What questions can I ask? You know, it's that's a challenge as well and just trying to doctor said, do things differently and things like that. Yeah, well, you you'll get better at it. The more you do anything, the better you get. You speak to any DJ or radio presenter who does local National Radio and they're kind of the same thing and say, you know, I've been doing this fifteen years and only now I feel I'm getting the hangar it. HMM. Different people take different links of time to to get into the flow of whatever...

...they're doing. Okay, some people are lucky. They just literally do hit the ground running, and so then it's a gifts and we have to we have to acknowledge that some people are gifted and we shouldn't be jealous and we shouldn't try and measure ourselves against them, because we can't. They've been given a gift. That's that. Great for them. The rest of us have to just actually work at it, and that's that's what we have to do. We will have gifts in other areas and we have to fight. If if you don't know what your gift is, I would suggest that that is your number one thing on your shopping list of things to do. What is my gift? What am I really good at? That? I could just be blindfolded, one hand tie behind my back. What could you do? You and once you've established what that is, then figure out what you're going to do with that gift. HMM. Yeah, I agree. And there's that. There's that quote that ties and sizes and I don't know who said if this, like it's the two most important days of your life when you born, the day you're born, in the day you find out why. Well, yeah, I think it was Mark Twain, because I hope it was my dad. Yeah, I tentatively say I think it might be marked. Yeah, I can think it was, but yeah, no, it's massive and I think like that's important as that. You know what is your gift, like you said, because everyone, think everyone. Someone said to me previous pocket. I want to scars podcast every day and he said the richest place is the graveyard or something, because it's people who taken, you know, Die Dreams, not deals and stuff. Absolutely, yeah, and, like I said, you know, some famous people, not successful people, find out when the life. Yes, is how we Ford. I still don't know to do with my life on a girl. Yeah, really, you know. So don't, don't be afraid, don't don't be in a rush. You know that. That's when my golden pieces of advice to anybody is don't be under any pressure to have achieved anything by a certain age. Is, in my personal opinion, one of the most dangerous pieces of advices, advice that anyone could could give you, that you've got to accomplish this X, Y and said by the time you're thirty or you're nothing, and I've had that said to me. Yeah, and you know, just walk away from people like that. I do. It's not going to do you any good hearing negative and constraining things like that, because it's just not true. It's simply not true. You could decide to do anything at the age of fifty, sixty. You can become a celebrity at seventy. Yeah, look a look at I think he's major now, Captain Tom you know, I've never heard of his name before now, and you know he's a hundred years old and and all, Tom All. Yeah, yeah, and he's a celebrity now. You can do anything at any age. Yeah, that you want to, if you set your mind to it and it's something that you want to do. You have to figure out what you want to do first. That's my biggest problem, but that's another story. Yeah, yeah, well, it's I agree like so, there's no age limit. I think, like you said, you just done to you. You have to figure out what is you want to do, but you know, just do it, you know, whatever that is. There's no strain on yeah, I mean I've changed I still continue to change them. I'm very pleas used to say I'm not. I'm not proud to say that. I you know, I constantly change. I'm not one of these people that says, you know, this is what I believe in, and that's that I don't know my colors to the flag, colors of the mast. Every time I heard differing opinions and I agree with that opinion or some opinion. I haven't considered before I'll change my own opinion, and I think that's good. It shows that your mind is adapting all the time. It shows your oats all absolutely so. You know, I used to believe that you have to decide what you want to do. Sometimes I think, well, think about war. Where you want to be? Where is the place on earth you most like to be? Where would you see yourself happiest in your life and what you picture yourself doing in that image? In that vision, are you literally just sitting in a debt chair drinking pin a coladas? Well, that's that sounds great for a holiday, I mean, but I'm sure you're going to get bored after that. So you've got to think about more. You're going to make that picture, make that movie in my head a little bit bit more in depth. What is it you want to do? What is it you want to achieve? That is the phrase. What do you want to achieve? Yeah, I mean you, you probably you will. At some point. All of us will come across people who have that sort of mindset...

...to say, Oh, I want to I want to a mansion and I want to yacht and I want to Ferrari. Okay, fair enough. Maybe they go and work for it and they they accomplish it. But once they've accomplished it, then what? That's what I'm saying to you. You know what's next, because you always have to have another goal. Yeah, and that's why I think it's important to figure out where do you see yourself and what is it doing? I mean literally, what is the job doing? Is Not just making money to get a thing. I want to Manchine, a want of Yallow on a frau hmm, because that's not theyse are just they just tangible things that you can pick up and throw away. M But what you actually want to do, what you want to achieve in doing something? Do you want to go and save the rainforests? Do you want to go and and, you know, help the fight against global pollution, something like that? Now, this is something that will never die. It's a job that will go on and on and on, and you can rise through the ranks and you can go and do various things all over the planet. I'll be something that be interested of interest to some people, that doesn't become them a job that becomes a lifelong purpose, and that's a difference. Do you see yourself in a job or do yourself, but do you see yourself following a purpose in life? What is your purpose? What are you here to do on this planet? Is it to work with someone else? There's nothing wrong with saying yes, you know, I prefer to take my orders from someone else and do a good job and present the person who's asked me for it like an artist. Yeah, you could be an artist and sums as I want. You paint my dog or you paint my kids or whatever, and you do it. It's no shame in that. If you've got the gift to do it, then by all means do it, but figure out what sort of person you are. Are you a person that wants to be that likes to be asked to do something and then you give in return, or are you the sort of person that wants to be the person doing the asking, doing the ordering, doing the demanding? Or are you the sort of person who just wants to go out and, like a good Samaritan, just go and give? These are things, these are important questions we all need to ask ourselves and we need to constantly keep asking them, because the answer will constantly change. My questions that I've just, you know, thrown out there they've changed all the time. I used to be a person that just wanted to work at an office and just do what the people told me. Then I changed to being the the sort of managerial I want to be the one doing the ordering, and now I'm sup person just wants to go and off for help anywhere and everywhere. Yeah, so we have to we again coming back to the mind. We have to expand our minds more. We have to constantly been stretching the mind. We have the constantly going to a mental gym, if you like. HMM, we can take breaks, as we do, from the gym, take a break from from stretching a mind. You could just go and vedge out. That's fine, but at some point you've got to go back. You Go, go and stretch your mind again and go and push yourself, go and test yourself, going to ask yourself some difficult questions. Who Am I? When am I? What do I like now? HM, well, I used to like this. I don't like that anymore. So what do I like now? I don't know. Let's go push myself, find some discomfort and find out. Maybe there'll be something in that that I've learned that I like. Yeah, I did that just really brief you know, very shortly I did that when I was living in South America for three years. I quit the police lung. Very, very long story very short. I was coming close to a breakdown. I couldn't take it anymore and I just took a one way ticket to South America with no plans and I had to figure out pretty damn fast what am I going to do to put food on the table, and I had no experience in anything else other than really generally being a police officer. And then I realized, what are my skills? What do I have? Look at my environment. No one here speaks English. I decided to just launch myself as an English teacher and it was really uncomfortable, I can tell you. I was very, very, very very nervous and I nearly took myself out of it, as like well, I can't just go and talk to a class full of people who don't speak English. But I did it. I push myself. I was sweating or shaking, I was all nervous, you know, tripping over my words. Yeah, but eventually I got over my fear and I just down. I did it and I became so good at it that I set myself up in business. Yeah, you can do it. Yeah, you've got to push yourself, get uncomfortable and it'll be amazing what you can find out from from those uncomfortable situations. M Yeah,...

...that's where we grow. That's where we grow, like I by nothing spawn ajor and I think I, you know, with everything you said, like I completely agree, and I think you know you like you've you've like from your experience and what you've done, like you know, you've been in all the different situations and you see that different Lens Start, you know, because you've gone in different so you know, different circumstances, different locations, different jobs, and you know, you try things out and you realize, you know, this isn't for me. Yeah, don't want this anymore, and you know this isn't working for me. You know what you still, like said, that that kind of completion that we're all kind of driving towards, you know, thinking that that getting that car again, that thing, getting that job, getting that role is, you know, the thing that we want. And then you get there and you might requi on now what? Yeah, I think, like you said, those those questions to ask yourself, like key, and they're crucial so that I'll be like you know why I was. I want to do my surroundings. You know, because we've all got, you know, the A, the ability to create over circumstances for one. Yeah, you've got to push out there. I think it all starts from one thing. If we can even go back, even sort of before what we were just talking, like what we the conversation started about, just about pushing our limits. Is the reason why we want to push our limits. It's not just to grow, but also, if you're unhappy, if there's something not right in your life, if you're feeling of something missing and you think, I don't know what it is, but I'm not really feeling fulfilled in my life, that is the perfect start for you. Let's start looking for change, seeking change and putting yourself out there. Yeah, I know it's difficult and God knows, I know, because I've been there and bake that I'm still in that situation. I always talk the talk and walk the walk. You without without putting yourself into financial difficulties like numerow here there are there are better ways to do it and if you plan them properly, you can navigate like a sailor, like a ship through through the seas, navigate a way to change your life, trying new things, push your limits, test yourself and come out the other side and be stronger, better informed, more intelligent. But are educated about everything you are interested in doing, and maybe you'll find yourself a new job and you life and you country to live in and you'll be completely different from the old person and the only thing you'll be saying to yourself is, why didn't I do this sooner? Yeah, you know, I completely, completely agree. Like it's so important just to say our leap and not I don't regret, isn't it? You know, not to have that burden. And Yeah, we mustn't be hard on ourselves, because other people are going to be hard on us. HMM, the world is going to be hard on us. So why add to that by being hard on yourself, by adding regrets to that? Try Not to regret. It's easy to have been done and I appreciate that, but but you know, I think the very common phrases it's better to have regretted having done something. Yeah, ice cases been not having done something. Yeah, go and do it, go and try something's not going to kill you. Get that. Go and do go and do it and try it and you love, you love, you have grown for the experience. Yeah, nothing is a waste of time, except sitting on your button doing nothing. That's a waste of time. But if you have an opportunity, as this is even more special, if someone offers you the opportunity, don't turn it down. HMM. It's life knocking on your door, yeah, saying I'm about to offer you something. It might be good, few might be bad for you, but hey, why don't you try it out? HMM. But if you're going to have that negative little voice, can Nah, you're not going to be to get at that. You're going to suck at that, then you're never going to get up from that safe you never going to walk through that door. The opportunity just open for you. Yeah, I don't agree. Like you know, we've got a just take take what you know. Someone offers you something, you know, a job of t and see please, somehow tomorrow in Ontario, Canada, or Cape Town, South Africa, that's opportunity knocking at your door. You're going to have a little voices left, right and sad they are still far away. Are you're not going to see your family for a little while, or the you know what. Never been there, never done that. I'd like to give that go. Yeah, I'm go and do it. I can. I...

...can live it at my family for a six month. Whatever else. Type them all, Zoom them, but let me go and do this. Let me go and see what I'm made of. Let me see if this is the beginning of a brand new life for me. Yeah, you just don't know's take those opportunities, push yourself exactly by now. I completely agree, and I think it's so important to, you know, do what, make sure iping just hate those chances, you know, and just just get out there. And I've got I've got a caught short age links of understanding me. Messages off. My warmth was okay, yeah, coolies, but the age is it's been. It's been absolute pleasure talking to you again and being able to lie, you know, see child life and really it's really happy. It's always, it's always. Sorry, yeah, we'll do this again, don't worry. Yeah, course, yeah, it's unlike we strangers. We do this. So, yeah, but but not really means our really great for your time and thank you for come on the podcast again and I think you know, like what you said. I completely agree and I think we know. We really talked to out some really good topics that, you know, the people can take a lot from. Yeah, great, Adam. Well, I wish you all the best and I will speak to you very soon. Don't be strange. Yeah, yeah, of course, enjoy the hot weather while it sakes. I don't think it's going to be here for a long yeah, good old, good old England. Yeah, and take care of yourself. Yeah, you too, all the best age life, and that to us mine, all the worst to us one.

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