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The Parrsitivity Podcast
The Parrsitivity Podcast

Episode 25 · 1 year ago

The Parrsitivity Podcast #Episode 77 Rawnaq Faisal

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In today's episode I'm joined by Rawnaq Faisal, me and Rawnaq both met on the animas life coaching course a number of years ago! In this episode we talk about covid-19, reconnecting with friends and relatives during this time, positivity and much more! Instagram: @rawnaq23 --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/the-parrsitivity-podcast/message

Hither. My name is Adam Po and the podcast host posity to podcast. In this podcast, you will be listening to me connect with people from different walks of life, from the military to people in the music industry, to people in the self help industry and many other areas of life. In this podcast I'll be talking about topics from self help, mental health, motivation, spirituality, mindset, society, current affairs and much, much more. If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe, share and let me know your feedback. And my main intention on this podcast is to have a positive impact for you, the lit the listener, to take something positive from it, to apply something positive into your life from this. Now with without further ado, let's go to podcast and enjoy. Hi, welcome to the PARTYS podcast. In this episode I'm with run I faisil. In this episode we talked about lockdown mindset and, you know, really connecting with family members and friends during this time and much more. Now, sit back, relax and enjoy this episode. Hi, hi, ROEAC. How are you doing? Your eye...

...very well. How are you Adam's good? Yeah, very well. Thank you very well. I'm really I'm really happy to be here with you. It's be a long time since last time. Imagine the course. Thank you very much for inviting me to your platform now. You're very welcome and I'm happy for you to be on the podcast and it's nice to see you again because I think like last time we saw each other was a couple of years. I thinks two years ago to two years ago. Yes, roughly this time. Yeah, it's crazy, but but yeah, alike, because we may on the coaching course and then you you're now like a coach. Yes, so like working families. I started coaching with children age five to eleven and back into two thousand and twelve, and then I moved to coaching one, two, one, then family coaching and when the lockdown began in UK London, I started to coach mainly family, because that's what I felt is there is a need for it. So how to transform houses into homes, chaos into orders. Yeah, Nice, gray and I think like that is is much needed, isn't it like, especially with what what's been happening, you know, people are more with a family more and it's going to be tensions as well as them, a lot of tensions, because you want your own space. After suddenly you found yourself locked twenty four hours, seven days with whether you have kids or not. You need we need our space on...

...besides the news, beside all the you know what's going on, the worries when you have family, when you have specifically when you have children, not only you end up with the worries of parenting, also the home school line and the skills of home schoolings and all this overwhelming. So I found myself kind of responsible that okay, I can do something, and I started doing life streaming, like in my platform, in Instagram, how to harmonize our home, how to transfer, transfer our houses into homes, giving ideas, examples, you know, just to make things easier for for everybody, for families, for individuals to come over this difficult time. Yeah, Nice. That's awesome and I think is it's really nice that, you know, you was able to kind of improvise and then kind of flip around what you was doing and, like, you know, so folks on families and help families, you know, with the current situation because, you know, you think like especially, a lot of families probably, depending on where they live, probably can't take their kids to certain places or they can't haven't got a garden, so they might be stuck. Yeah, absolutely, and we've seen a lot of like in the you would in social media's. I mean there are different ways that you can see all them posative stories how people came together, how families help individual came together, spreading kindness, and also we saw domestic violence. The rest the clients increased during the lockdown specifically and obviously because of...

...all this worries, as I mentioned, and the frustrations, all the pressure. So how can we deal with it? It's it's very simple, if well, the way I began my coaching is to find the values, the common values, find family vision, starting to work together with the basic I do you know, Adam, we have dristic, intrinsic values and acquired values, intrinsic values that's related to this part of our souls, which is not peace, and also acquired values coming from culture, background, you know, the society were living. So how do we use those values and activated in our life and make it part of our living so we once we live our value, that's when we become our best. That's where we achieve and be happy, be happy with whatever we doing. And this is actually the key, the key of how to find kind of their connection. How to be connected, first with yourself, because you cannot connect with others if you don't connect with within. You need to start within and find your voice, find your authentic self. And then when you find your authentic self and start, especially from the love space, you can give and you can you can decide. You can, in fact, when you are activate or when you when you act on your values and when you are connected to your authentic self,...

...then you can overcome difficult term situations. You can decide, make decisions in any critical, critical decisions. It makes decision easier to make. So all these this is it's it's not difficult, but what you know it, once you know it and you know how to use it, it makes a huge difference. We see nowadays many houses, many houses who is like a shelters with walls, and many individuals. They called as a family, but they live, but they are in different worlds. They are they are not connecting, there is no conversation between them, there is no common grounds, there's there's something Miss Stage. Absolutely. So how do you make this House a home? It's, as I said, we start with the values. Find values that connect those individuals. Mission for this family. Once you have this, then you try to find a quality times you spend with your kid, even if it's twenty minutes, twenty minutes, thirsty minutes, but it is quality time you and there are many, many ways of expressing this quality time, whether you doesn't matter whether you have a garden or you you living in a small space, in a flat. It doesn't matter. Quality time. You can sit with your child or sit with your spouse or whoever you are living with and have a conversation, ask a questions, ask quality questions, because when you ask a quality question, you get a quality results. And once you connect and try to find like either you playing time, play play...

...time, or ponder on something or, for example, find a topic interesting to you and you discuss that topic, Cook Together, draw together, you go in the park and ponder around nature and have this, you know, very nice, positive energies. Yeah, and that actually helps to be open up and to because the environment also helps, to have this extra kind of connections and take those moments and try to connect with your family, whether kids, as I said, or your friends, anyone who's close to you. You don't be don't need much. It is just be conscious about it and make efforts. So these simple things, and I began with this, explaining, for example, how to do the exercises of how to find our values and how to apply our values and our life. Also, I started to teach how to make gratitude rituals. Yeah, gratitude and how you express it. How do you teach a gratitude two kids, to individuals, and it becomes part of our ritual, daily ritual, routine. These things. That makes really big difference and I would say those are the keys for transforming houses and someone. Yeah, not often us of that's really great work and I think why. You said you have to bring it back to the person and...

...they're, like you said, you're your values and what's going on inside to be able to connect with someone else, because if you're not tweaking that or fixing that, it's going to be bit a sugar and, like you said, going out for a walk, somewhere possible, doing things, going for a walk, being being around nature helps. You know, I've I've been in the garden a lot more. Find a very grounding, you know, try and go somewhere, like I said, a park or somewhere you know. Not that then, like I said, brings brings out conversation kind of naturally when you with somebody, because you starting to think about what's going on around you and it just kind of comes to doesn't it? Absolutely, it's really important, in fact, I Adam. In fact you are expressing and you discuss, you discuss the value is through doing stuff, when you implant, for example, if you go to the garden and you try to implant something or go or you try to do simple things, activities together, you actually discussing, discussing values and you are start living it without without teaching it. It's indirect teaching. And what I noticed as well. I notice people under suctress or crisis or under pain, they escape through other ways, either excessively drinking or dieting, and you've seen it, probably you've seen it, and the social media's chocolates and the habits of Eaty to this emotional eating, emotional habits to to ease the pain. Basically, this is escape instead of coming to themselves and trying to use the pain to a print a successful to...

...learn from it or to make or to connect when with themselves, not escaping by, you know, over drinking or over eating or like excessive shopping for example, because they feel comfort in that. There are so many, even the drop addicts, part of drug addicts its escape from that pain, escape from reality. So when we acknowledge the pain or difficult their time or crisis and really face it, the courageous face it as the quality questions. What I what makes me happy? How can I truly transform myself? How can I connect with myself for me to be able to connect with others? Once you find the answer, or that the for those questions and once you connect with your authentic self, trust me, this is the beginning. This is a beginning when you become your best self and you will start making difference. And just remember, I always say, make your mess a message. Make it a message that have an ripple and effects on others in a positive way. So yeah, it's maybe it's nothing in you, but you know simple things sometimes, when you are aware of it, it makes a huge difference and for somebody else, you know. Yeah, no, not massively, massively agree. I think, like you said, with the whole situation, people look for outlets for how they feel. That makes sense. What when you said, you know, drinking, smoking, jokes, eating, buying things, and I noticed it very vividly going to the superwarker, people panicking.

I mean, yeah, people will panic buying because they you know, locking for everyone's going to close down and things are going to run out. So people were just like in react, you know, and I reacts moent and panic buying and, like, you know, I saw a lot of people buy an alcohol. I was like, you know, you're going to drink all that yourself. And Yeah, like, like you said, if people tune into their internal dialog and what's going on with them and going through the motions and pushing through what's happening and, you know, going through that discomfort instead of trying to hot you know, trying to cover it by doing something else and distracting yourself. Yeah, I think we've all kind of dealt with it in our own way. The whole situation will different, I know that. You know. I think for me, I like chocolate and I remember buying lots of chocolate to beginning and I was like, you know, while we're doing this. So is that balance, isn't it's that balance with oath and but you need to face what's coming up for you. Absolutely, absolutely what you just said. This is so true. Balance. It's what when we done US things. Obviously, I like chocolate. I feel comfortable, it's it's a pleasure when I eat chocolate. You know, this hormone, the pleasure hormone. It is not natural. We want it, but balance when, if we use it to escape, this is another story. But the thing that I also notice, like now in the society, the anger and probably the few days ago you heard the stepping, you know, three in the part idea, yes in the park, all this reactions.

And we see here, obviously, if, if we are not acknowledging and we if we are not seeing the elephants in the room, how can we sort out or address the issue accurately? One of the things that really one of the reason actually I chose coaching, or I found myself, you know, doing college. Yeah, is my concern in two thousand and twelve, when I saw this friction in the society, and this is actually friction is growing. You See Society Within Society, community, I get within a community. The fraction is is so that is so scary. That is if we really don't find a common values that hold all society together, we will see more of these and, you know, kind of tapping anger, fear, because this is all coming from fear. We need we need common dialog. We need a dialog that is kind of from cross culture. I would call it cross culture and dialog who is based on universal language. Universal language can be suppressed by music, food can be suppressed by poetry. You know, Nice words, love, all these are universal languages. So all this aggressions, all this angers, it's coming from fears and it's growing. Is it growing? So it's good to address, to to see the problem, to, as I said, see the elephant in the room, not ignoring it, because if we ignore it, more and more and more of these things...

...will will see it in our days, in every day so finding for common values, trying to integrate in the society through events like social events. Here the the coaches job comes and they need to work on that best, because if you really wants to have an impact or a change in a society, you really need to address the issues of the society. I mean it's a great I love the prison. I mean for me, I feel the values I live in, this value of British values and I yeah, you know, I teach it as well. But what I mean is because of specially the last few years, a lot of immigrants are. By the way, I fled from your dialectical right because of the word yeah, and you know the story. I. Yeah, Yeah. So I came for, you know, to settle, to have a family in peace and loving society, except differences and accept stole rants and beautiful because, I mean, whatever I go, I feel London is my home, okay, but because recently a lot of immigrants came here and obviously they're what I know to maybe I can be wrong. You can correct me, Adam, you can correct me. I sound they kind of becoming more in close to each other. There is no integral ration, there's no work. We need more work towards integrating between...

...the culture that did the different culture, the different cultures. When we have this across culture of dialog, the fear will be because you will you will know, you will know the other parts. Okay, so that would help. That will help a lot. But obviously all start from home. All the started from home. So if we built home that is higher value, love, peace and compassion and all, you know, kindness, and work on it, obviously that would make a difference. That by this. Yeah, now I talk completely agree and I think like that. Having feeling supported as a big thing isn't, because I think what you said with these incidents that keep on happening, I mean the things that are hard to address, of these lone wolf attacks, because that one that has recently was alone, Wolver Tuck. And the thing is with that, yeah, it could be anybody and if it's in groups and they can track certain people, which they do, then it's a lot easier. You know, they could be got somebody who's radicalized. There are a loan person, no one knows where they are, who they are, and they can just come out one day and do something like the other day. And we've seen that numerous times and I think, you know, it goes back, like you said, to the family, to that person. You know what's happened to them? Why? Why have they felt that anger? Why? Why? What's happened in their family, like you said, the family? You know, if they're feeling not value, On't important, they're going to try and seek that somewhere else, and that's like these groups. May they get a sense of belonging. You know, I I was in a group of Lads at school, you know, and you feel like you belong. You want you want that sense of belonging and then they he's probably done that. And, like you said,...

...you know, people need to feel like they belong at they need to feel out their value. Otherwise they're going to be angry, going to be upset and they might try and seek that and other areas which are, you know, raymoting people. Basically, wow, you just said you mentioned the sense of belonging. Yeah, this, this is very, really good. You know, you put your finger on there. Yeah, yeah, amazing, amazing. Yeah, the feeling of belonging. It's that's where when you feel it belongs to something, it's a group or to society, then you you can be productive, you can be you know, you will be active in completely different so, yes, I absolutely agree with you. The sense of belonging one of the things that we are missing, I think, in the society, but not not everybody. I'm just saying, no, I'm trying to explain why this aggression, why they of course, why this specific behavior or this particular behavior couldn't be any reason, but because initially at home they didn't get this love and probably this conversation and the sense of belonging. So, yeah, everything is started from home. Yeah, no, it's it's so important, isn't it? Like you said, you can see why people might experience mental health problems because they might be stressed, they might not get on with the pet, their friends, the one I get on with their family at home. They might, you know, and the spending more time. Then there's more stress. Like said, domestic violence, you know, abuse start happen. You know, like I said, it's going to increase people at home, you know, and it's a difficult situation. Like...

...you said, people need to come together and feel feel that you know, belonging and that love at home, because you feel like that's a person. If you've got that, I think it's you know, it's one of our needs, isn't it? We need to, you know, have a roof, overheads, we need to feel safe and if you can't feel safe in your own home, it's not it's not overly home. Yeah, it's not home, because part of being at home is when you feel safe, you feel yourself, feel comfortable, it's your heaven, is your refuge. Home is actually your refuge. And Yeah, that's that's the difference between being at home and or just being in the house. But you know, I just remember some recalling something when I used to diagnose people with the multiple my looma cancer, I used to think this is the ultimate kind of calamity or it's kind of the hardest illness that anyone can get. But then when I began from kind of firm my social life changed with my new work, I discovered not actually that there are much harder, more difficult, how to say, there are illnesses that hits the up human being which is much more difficult than cancer or chronic diseases, and those are heart disease. Heart disease when your...

...heart becomes so black, so solid, you cannot feel, or it's not, like not connected to human being, you're not said the humanity, you're not it is not beating as it should be. This is the hardest disease that any human being can can get. And that's when when your heart become kind of hot, numb. Absolutely. Thank you. You. Yes, you, you can hurt others, you can just distract, you be distractive, you can do anything. So I just realize that actually cancer maybe can be a blessing. I've seen it. It can be blessing. It turns many, many individual into very good people, Mary change their life. Obviously in a hard way, but it's made them. I don't know, it's change them for the good of family. Came together. I've seen, I've seen many, many stories. When people add the much of them, my Lorna, their families becomes together. They want connected, tight net, and so it was eventually blessing for them. But when I saw an other side with people with this hardening and this numbness, you see, oh my God, no, this disease is much harder. This this disease. You don't want that disease. So, yeah, coaching. And Yeah, so I can't hearts. How to cleanse the heart. One of courses I did is how to coach the heart. How and always connected and be intuitive and see the messages through the heart, because the more you cleanse your heart, the...

...more you can see sights, you can see more things in depth. Yeah, so, yeah, I can talk a lot about the hearts. Me Not to start with the hearts because, yeah, this is this is where I started actually, because how to yeah, and no, I think, like you said, is really important to address that, isn't it? Like how people feel and not, like you said, the hearts, because you know, some people are had that experiences and things have happened and they just gone, you know, become I'm through, like, you know, through life. Just built this kind of attitude and this mind sea like and don't fail, you know, and I think we need to feel as human beings. And I think why we social media, in the Internet, it's kind of like cut off people from connecting, you know, like, like I said, like at home, in the home especially, people might be on the phone's more then might not be talking as much in person because they're on laptop or TV or whatever. And, like I said, yeah, you know, having having a heart and, you know, being able to tune in and feel, isn't it? You we only need a twenty minutes to thirty minutes to have a quality time. It's fine to have your own time with your social media, because this is the platform you we can use it in a positive way as well. Yeah, but most of the things now through social media and we need to be connected. But if we hope we spend the quality time every every day, that's when we can make a huge difference. HMM. Yeah, I agree. I yeah, definitely agree, but not I think we've definitely come some really good topics and it's really, really like you know, pleasure to have on the podcast. Thank you very...

...much for inviting me for your cook you probably right. Very well, good, it is good to catch up again with you. It's been I mean so years pass so quickly. I can't believe how time flies. It's scary. But know, yeah, yeah, would know. Not only to talk to gun and I think you know we agree with what you said and hasn't a really, really great topics and I think you know you're doing a great job in what you're doing in your work as well, you know, bringing families together and helping people through this time. Thank you. Hopefully, the future, when we do events for more social things, for Cross cultural dialog you would be invited. Yeah, of course. I look down. Is over and yeah, be safe for social yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I be happy to go to really appreciate it. Thank you very much for today. Very well, supply. Yeah, you two all the best. Take.

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