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The Parrsitivity Podcast
The Parrsitivity Podcast

Episode 80 · 2 years ago

The Parrsitivity Podcast #Episode23 Natasha Singh

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Natasha Singh is a life-coach that helps people to gain clarity, and discover there passions in life. In today's episode we talk about why we got into lifecoaching, the challenges, the passion, covid-19 and how to manage your emotions!. Insta@Natashasingh_official --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/the-parrsitivity-podcast/message

Hi, welcome to the PARTYS podcast. In today's episode I'm with Natasha Sing. She's a passion and clarity coach that helps people to unlock their passion and gain clarity and what they're doing. So sit back, relax and enjoy this episode. He Natasha, how are you? Hey, what's up? I'm good. How are you doing you kids? Yeah, I'm great, Chus, I'm great. Reading. The voice is fine, right, I mean, that's not disturbance. You can hear me out properly? Yeah, I can here, absolutely fine. Can you hear me? Okay, yes, yes, perfect. Oh, great. So how I was being for you whilst all this has been going on self? Isolation? Yeah, wee. Well, I would say, to be very honest, I mean it's been working out pretty well for me. I am I'm working, I can work from my home and I'm getting into while working from home. That's all getting to do things that I always want to do, like things like podcast and everything. So yeah, for me, I would but si see that. I know it's a crisis time right now, but to be very honest, it's been like sort of blessing for me because suddenly, what's a much time for myself and there's so many things that I'm trying to do right now that I can we actually moving for for this. Yeah, now, I want. Yeah, no, I completely agree. I think it's difficult for you know, everybody, and you know, I think if you're in the field of Otual and you've got an online based almost you know, kind of works in your favorite and someone kind of work home and focus on things to do. But yeah, I've been basically kind of folks on my podcast, of had more time to do that work on my website and you were things really and I've just kind of enrolled on doing an NLP course. So you are also a life boat if I'm not sung right. Yes, I am qualified last December. Oh, but I'll be. I qualified last August. Nice, I've lost honest. Yeah, yeah, I've been doing it for a couple of years because I actually enrolled on my course with a COMP company in London called animals, okay, and the lasted around six months. And do you do a module per month? Okay, okay, yeah, how so experience this as a life coachhow has been the experienced like changed? What changed by how? Yeah, it's it's definitely change me in some way in a good way. I think you know, you you connect with a deeper party self and you're able to connect or people on a people level. Understanding how it works. Yes, absolutely, but okay, I because you're also a life quas and I'm lucky of you this question. May I yeah, of course. Okay, so I know that. You know now we have become certified coaches and of course, I mean we know the whole process and we also have a bit of understanding about how how anyone's brain functions right, and...

I mean what are what the possible rules and causes behind whatever they're thinking? But do you stay irritated, or I would say irritated, I mean might be like a wrong choice of word, but maybe that you know you're looking at someone and they're just not understanding the thing, or you might have tried to put in a word and there's not trying to or still mean does does thee do these things still affect you or still make you? WHO IRRITATED? How how do you handle that? Because I know, as I like coach, of course we guys that equipped with that to take it, but I also believe that that change. Even as a life boat, it doesn't happen overnight. Right. I mean it's a constant work with you, even we have to do it on ourselves every day. You deal with that. He mean like with the other person, if you work with them. You mean, yes, yes, if you're working with exactly. Yeah, it's some flosio good with and I was doing my training, I feel, because you ultimately want to try and tell them and guide them the way that or you you can't. HMM. You've got like your own kind of feelings and emotions not surface. Is your working with them. But I would that to begin with, and it's almost like you got to just buy your tongue with whether you feel when you're coaching someone and just be kind of not be touched. But you can't influence our client through your emotions or for smach right. Right, I think you said it pretty rightly that I'd understand that. One has to be detached in those of whatever you plan circumstances. But I think one also has to be detached from your own pace, online situation, and it's like you can see it clearly, you can see through it and you, I think some sometimes, some way, we alsoport it from that spectrum because we are able to see through, but they are not even to understand put it very right that detachment, just not from the client but also from our perspective of their situation, which I guess even sometimes we get gathered away that. Yeah, now I agree. And like when I did practice sections with people, when I did my cause, yeah, find yourself sometimes, is it like leading questions, asking certain questions that kind of be an influenced by the way that you're thinking. You Gay, so you kind of you can make suggestions like that's why I found myself to do it. I would make suggestions of Blah, want you to do this, and then there's a difference between mentoring and coaching. That's why right was a big thing that we was told right, because as a coach, you're providing the climb, the space, and they're kind of working through it. You're just listening and asking questions, whereas mentoring is more like, Oh, why don't you do this? You kind of suggesting more too, absolutely, you know. Yeah, so, and how did you figure out if you did a good job as a coach? Because so I think as a coach, even if I'm asking someone questions and if someone is having like they're having dual thoughts and whether they should do something, they should not do something, and the more questions the we from actually not doing it and the end of it you feel like, did I do the right thing? Who? Did I do the wrong thing?...

So I don't know, how do you judge your own said, how do you judge your performance in the situation like that, I think, but I is your life goacheous? Well, that's why I but let's just get gonna. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean I think I would always kind of ask feedback, okay, on on a session really. Yeah, it's been a while since up at the moment, when I when I did them with clients, someone I was practicing and working and help people, I would when I when I was training, I would, I would ask for feedback straight away. So it's easy because we want like an instant result, almost you want to know how we did, but it's not about us, you know, it's more about them, moreless about the client. So I would give it a bit of time and then ask for feedback, like I did. You think that? When? Do you feel any different? Right, right, okay, makes sense. Put it. It's a complex you know, it's very deep. Things take a modern important learn because you can't guarantee your your own emotions in you know, your own stuff sort of surface. Yeah, hello, yeah, I thought I used to. Yeah, yeah, so, yeah, perfect, makes sense. Whatever. What would yeah, what would you say if there's been a challenge for you as a coach as and how would I judge myself? Hmm, I think if someone is confused and by the end of the conversation, if they have made up their mind, even if they do not want to do it, I think I did a good job because he came up to me with a confusion and by the end of the conversation they were cleared enough about the whole thing that they do not want to do it. And that was exactly the whole agenda, is that they should get that clarity. Well by, you know, the way that we ask questions and they keep coming up their own answers. I think then it's a good job done that. Yeah, I mean the purpose is not always to make them do things the purposes that they figured out for themselves, whether they even if it's right for them or not. So yes, I think the job done if, by the end of if they have much more clarity and and it's lady in terms of the general I feel like this. No, I mean they have their proper reasoning behind it. They can discuss their own reasons that. You know, I don't want to do it, but these are the reasons that I do not want to do it, and it's making sense to them as well. I think it's I mean then it's a good job done. Yeah, and of course feed back, like you said. Yeah, yeah, and it's like some things work different people, like the like diagrams and charts. Different things work within people, like sometimes, you know, I found affective way is asking him, on like a scale of once ten, yes, strongly they feel about something, or how much of the factors have they yay. But sometimes, you know, people can do that and they can almost hide their the issuer and and put that as at least least important, like number ten, if one was most important, and sometimes disguise it, you know, which is which is interesting and it's quite magical to see people shift. You know, sometimes people want to shift straight away. Yeah, some people, you know, sometimes it takes a few sessions. Yes, yes, I get it, was just saying you're right. Yeah, so how did you go? So,...

I mean do you have like go a week long, or is it? I mean, do you advise people at first session or you already have like a five feet or a seven meter? Then we program in place and you did them. That, I mean, this is what I mean. This is how we want to figure you out. Yeah, HMM, but I'm just in the process now set up my own kind of you know practice and website. Okay, since all this has been happening, I've been working in like hospitality and retail, okay, as full time and then I did this on the side. Yeah, where there is. Now I'm just in the process of, you know, setting up full time, but usually I would booking clients and have a consultation, hmm, and do like weekly sessions. But, like you said, I've been thinking all bit doing like, you know, like quit different packages or you know, people can block in certain sessions, right, but it's just something I'm just in the process of kind of Fredoing my website. Really, okay, but okay, that's kind of something up only will look at. Right. Okay. So basically, for what's like do we chuse their own I mean for some certain people it might be pretty early and for some people they might stay some time. Right. Yeah, of course yeah, I mean I think a lot of people don't really know much about coaching. Oh, yes, do you want to get a lot of questions like that? That also. That sounds interesting. But what doesn't life foods too? I mean, yeah, I worded so many times that people get very intrigued. They're interesting fight when they who understand call life coach because they have been good about it, but they do not know much about it in details. So a should they ask is that. But what exactly doesn't end? So I think you and I'm pretty exciting professions, to be honest. Yeah, and it's a profession that you can go in all different areas with and I think you know you learned so much about yourself. You learn so much about other people. So too, and it's kind of an area where there's no completion, almost you can just keep on going in all these different areas. Right, right, but best far. No, it's fun. You don't know you was saying something. Please so say like a lot of people say to me. It's fund the Nish and you know, I've been doing it for a couple of years and I've really found the niche. I don't think. I kind of know there's a certain areas that I come working but right, you know, like goal setting, help, fit, nutrition, confidence. Okay, but would you say a you have a certain a show? Do you think is important to have a nation? There's a coach. I okay, so, Um, the reason why? So my dishes. I call myself a passion clarity coach, that I help figure out what exactly that passionate about in their life. But I chose that as my Inh wickause that very close to my heart. I mean, if I tell you my story, for about a decade, like the ten years, I've literally been in really fancy professions. I mean literally, I think, positions and profession that people would literally kill to work for. But I was not very happy jumping through the jobs. So I know how it feels when you are not at the right place, place where you actually feel that you know, you feel that you reached home and this is your destination. That feeling has literally escaped me for ten years. My theme point and after especially, if not even while, I was continuing my coaching practice, I came across so many students and I came across so many these early career...

...enthusiast you know, people who are still at a very nat and stage, and I've had stations with them and this is one thing that I've actually found very like. This is a consistent that I've found with everyone that they joined something because it sounds exciting or they join something check is really good, but it's not what they really wanted. And when you are them what they exactly want, some of them don't even go there what they want. And I could feel that I resonate with it because I've been in those shoes and I exactly know how how badly it hurts you every day to get up because you're going to you work for something that you have no interest ince and you don't even go the bod exactly you want out of life. That stick ess can really be very overwhelming, I think send a lot of people in anxiety or in stress. So that's the reason I thought that, if this can literally work, wonders for me that after doing this whole I was coached. So if that can work, onders for me that I figured out that what exactly is my calling that now today, I feel I have a reason to get up every day and I have a I have set for my own self. I take out dedicated time every day to work transform myself, because I want to really work for my calling. And it's really amazing, I mean, I think, to actually be up you really like you don't even feel like you're working. So and I want more and more people in the world to actually just imagine actually a world where everyone is pursuing what they really want. Just imagine such it would be such an amazing place to stay. So That's how I chose my niche. So said, I think to me it came pretty early. But yes, I've had friends, I've had co coaches who are still figuring it out, and I would say we better to take their time, because the more you come across people and the more you actually have conversations in the more you coach people, that is actually a better way to get clarity for even yourself, that you know, this is what or this is where I connect more, this is what I really want to work with, this is what I want to visit. So I think, even if it takes time to figure out the Nishe, I think, but still it's still good. It's still good, as long as you would not completely talk agree, for you said, it makes sense, for it doesn't allow you've just kind of got through kind of Kaina experience and just kind of trial out really by, I suppose, finding out where sift you best through getting a fail for right right need to actually engage with a lot of a lot different sort of situations and a lot different type of people. Get outs that you might not even like having conversations with certain category, and that is fine. I mean, as life coaches, I don't think so that we also need to be entertaining to everyone, even we because I'm sure that even you know that it should even resonated and should why with us as well. So it can be a possibility that you might not even enjoy. or it is. It doesn't even give you a kick while you're having a concision with someone who, with regard to a particular topic. I M when, at least, if you know what you don't want to work on, it becomes easier to figure out that what you want to work on. M My experience. Yes, yeah, nice is is fascinating and it's so interesting, you know, understanding how people work and how we think and there's so much to it, you know, like to being a person. Yeah, and now I you said if people could like do what they love and if everybody got up and...

...was passionate about what they did and things will be clearly be different. But like, I think with coaching this there's no kind of age or anybody. I kind of get into it. Donner, right, right, that's about and you can literally jump under this Bandwig in any time and you can actually there is no age by the too, gender bar. There's there's no boy. You can be a life us at any point of time and I think that's the biggest thing. Yeah, that's what after this one thing that I kind of had to work through, like when I did my course, I think I was like one of the youngest on the course, okay, and I was kind of like thinking, you know, am I in the right place to do this? I'm are too young to do this? Yeah, because I have a job interviews and they people are set out. Your do a lot of coaching. You but young to be alive coach. Okay, but you know, it doesn't really matter, it is it when you when you think of it? Yes, I mean I totally get your question, because I think there's a very big misconception and people think that if you a I think a lot of people get confused between coaching and counseling. M Be that the thing that if you are someone, because I think most of them think that, you know, you would be giving them advices. So the first thing when they come to us, we really have to sit with them and literally have the concepts, which are like whole lot different. Wherein we have that, you know, we do not give advices, we just ask questions. That is what I job in tails right, I think, because the common and misconception that there is around it that you are supposed to give advisors. And if you're supposed to, then I'm sure. I mean you should be experienced, and experienced enough comes only with age. So I think that is how it all gets connected. But if you are someone who can ask the right questions, for that there is no age. It's just that how well you can how deeper you can dig, h how much more you can scratch the right parts of their brain. It's all about HMM, and I feel that even as a new coach, even if you are new to the industry and you do not know what are the right questions, I think just keep on asking questions and you will reach there's a loop. You know, it is always a look. You start from somewhere and even while they're answering it, you can literally figure out that. But he said this, so wide that. Why isn't he doing this? And then the question. So, but he seems to be something like this, and then Tum's a lot of the question. So it's all in the loop, I would say. I mean new coaches just start asking, figure your way out, to start somewhere right, yeah, and you just kind of build on your experience and your I agree absolutely. Yeah, did you ever look at footage of car Rogers when you was doing your training, or have you ever looked at call Rogers? That's what Roch has. No, no, I wouldn't be knowing much about this. I think. I'm pretty sure. Car Rogers, he all call of coaching, all kind of He's The foundation coaching, basically. Okay, it's this ferrapist in America. Okay, sure, exactly. Mister sick seven, peace and about him. I'm not good much with him. Yeah, he this is where all kind of coaching originated from. And...

...if you look at his video footage, yeah, it's basically coaching and he instead of calling the first he was coaching. He caught them clients rather than medical term okay, but he's very good to watch because he was at the very kind of early, early coaching. So basically he isn't something like that. He's one of the founders of this concept called coaching. Yeah, pretty much. Okay, then we so built. Yeah, it is. He's very like person centered, which kind of coaching is? Okay, and I all this. It was actually Tony Robbins who started this whole thing. Yeah, he's right, he's gonna end gram Hicks in on. Yeah, exactly. He's kind of like b the more modern, okay, kind of coaching. Like, okay, I would definitely love to read of about it, because I am aware about a Bram Hicks and you know your Ryan Jac and Antonie Robins, but this gentleman, so I would definitely read am about him. Since now you've yeah, sounds amazing. Yeah, yeah, I'll send you some of the links to some of his videos, because he had one way at this lady who problems in her relationship, okay, and being years and yeah, right, he ended up like shifting her kind of power down and a mindset with enough in quite ten minutes. And you say it. You see her all energy shit. Okay, if you ever did you in your training. You like what what kind of got you into it became? What kind of got you in through it? Sorry, I didn't get you. What kind of so what kind of got you into coaching? Was it like you just did? You had enough of like normal jobs and work and just found your thing? So, as I said that, you know, I was jumping through my jobs, very honest, and I was not very clear what exactly I want to do. In fact, sharing like on the same lines. Always thought that, you know, I should be a traveler journalist, like I have literally grown up watching Globe checker. I don't know who, I watched that series and literally that has been the biggest influence in my childhood, where I've seen all these whost traveling to these exotic places and I was like that so cool. I mean you get to travel and companies expenses and then you also get paid for it and you get to see all these places. The best job one to die right. So I always thought that, and I'm sure that most of the people would connect with me right now that I do. When you watching a job series like that and if you like, even if you like traveling even a bit, I think you already start assuming a lot about yourself. I mean I think you start over rating yourself that. I think you know the way I feel and connect with places and I think the way I can present places I don't think anyone else can. And Trust me, I was phase of mindset where I thought that I am totally on a nail it if I ever get an opportunity. So M right after my post Grad, I was literally applying everywhere and there's this travel team each other in India, that's an Indian travel to each other. So I was like, let me at least apply, let me at least give a shot at so not as a travel anchor, but I thought that even if I get inside the company, maybe then I can see how exactly the whole industry works and that would give me a lot better clarity if I'm interested or not. Trust me into the company. I was sure that I...

...do not want to do this. I mean, you know what we see is such a fancy part of it and what all want to to. I mean that just I was like no, I don't think so. I don't think I can go within in my hand. I don't think that I would want someone to tell me that. You know this is of the shoot. Timing is so you have to be ready by this and you have to do this. I'm someone who likes my space. I want I'm someone who would be very random. So that actually told a lot of things. I mean that cleared a lot of things about my own self that this is not how I would want my profession to be like. So that, of course, was then out of the list that I I want to be. Java Lanka. Then was working with a social media APP and apparently the company got down, and that was the point where I sat with myself and I was not to really need to figure out your shit, because it's been a decade that see, even though pressing in terms of the salary, paycheck, but when you see the graph that where exactly are you and you feel that I haven't progressed much. That should hurt a lot. Then you were like, actually, Havn't grown as such. I mean, I'm still at the same place where I was ten years ago. It's just that, you know, my salary has got better. Yeah, work with better brands and quite time I was out and let me take my own good time. Let me not, you know, rush into another job. Let me figure out what exactly I want and a life coach like pretty on and off, and it's always interested me that what exactly is again, like the same people who come to us not knowing that what life coaching is, but it sounds interesting to them. On the same lines, I was by heaven that there are courses, like their proper courses, where you get which you can do and become a life so I figured that out. You can say it was literally, you know, the universe lined up things for me. You Loo can literally say that, because one day I was just on my instagram and browsing the feed and suddenly the ad POPs up where they say that do you want to be a life coach, and I'm like other really courses and I'm wait for the previous and for the first time in my life, Adam, for the very first time in my life, no matter whatever occupations have had before, felt emotional about a profession, and that is never and now, and in that very moment, I was clear and for something like me, had confusion for ten long years and what exactly I want to do, in that one moment when everything became clear to me that this is exactly I mean. There's more there or even second thoughts about it. This is exactly what I want to do. I mean that there's no point wasting time. I just went for the course. I have life for it. And Yeah, that's and now, ever since then, how I've been a life coach and I'm really enjoying my jo absolutely nice, really nice, and it's really, you know, inspiring, you know, to hear that you you know, you went on that journey to like different jobs and wander. Oh yes, oh wait, if isn't it, and you know and see your known, really, because it is quite very starting something the especially, sorry, I didn't get the last language you said. I said it is. It's quite, you know, I motivating, inspiring, you know, to say like you went on this journey through working and trying things, you know, which didn't work out. You know, like take in a leap offfe for moment into something, you know, into the unknown. That's I mean, that's what true, because I thought that if I don't take that leap of faith right now, then I would again rush into a job and again waste three four years there and then would be back to the same points, thinking that, you know,...

...what exactly do I want to do? So I thought it's better that experiment right now rather than regretting it after three, four years and I was really sick and died while consistent cycle. I was fucking and I wanted to break that and I think, yeah, I was like, even if that means that, if that, I'm not supposed to work for some time, because the course really requires your energy and attention, and that you can literally do one weekend, because it requires, it requires you to sit with your own self. It's a it is a very deflective, self reflecting courses. You have to figure out things about your own self. So I was ready to do that. I think when get something for which you're willing to literally, if I may say so, that you will need to one room to ground. Yeah, I mean that's that's that's your window and that's your chance. Don't miss out on that. Yeah, yeah, no, I agree, and I think if something truly resonates with you, then you've got to follow avenue. Here's something clicks and, like you said, when you start having certain emotions about something and certain passions, it was kind of like fall into place, and I think that was the same for me when I did coaching, like I I tried loads of different jobs and I have worked in restaurants quite a lot and I like working with people. You know, I'm a I'm an extra, you know, energized, you can people, and I've just like I've kind of tuned into that and I was like, you know, this is kind of something that I like to do, you know, with people. And then I tried different jobs and then I was going to join the military. I was I was training too, like join the army, apply for the Marines, but I felt the psychometric test, so that try the military and I was going to join the police in the military because I've police officers. I spoke to and I was going to join the police. said to me, I'll join the army joint you know, be a policeman the army. What I was pursuing enjoying a military and then I was intellectually where you bit nurse than your all your medical tests. Okay, just kind of kind of something clicked to me and it kind of was like this isn't for you. Like I love all the granary and, you know, bitness and working as a team. I enjoyed all that. I enjoyed wearing you know, mentally and physically, but yeah, I put it, put myself on the line and be shot at. I then kind of went back into restaurants and then I went to university and I did criminology for a couple of months. That's kind of like, you know, a psychology of yeah, and I got, you know, I got to went to university and I was like I was in the wrong course, it didn't feel right. So then arts come back. I came back home, left drops out of university and then kind of got into coaching really. So it's it is quite I think it is a journey in some way to find yourself during life coaching, isn't it? You have to kind of gone this this journey of finding your films. So Danny was basically it was criminal a criminology, criminal psychology. Then actually opened doors for you. Do Right, if I mean if I yeah, yeah, I've always had like an interesting people and then I've always kind of been interested in criminals and stuff in some way niche. Why...

...not actually push the criminals? Yeah, I mean I'm sure that a lot of them actually go into Rehab and I'm sure that they know. You have a good stories and we have also, I'm not talking about joy, but they really want to reform. So your thoughts on that? Yeah, well, I have a lot of empathy and sometimes I found myself in certain situations where I've attracted, you know, certain kinds of people who would say if done things or like I was on a coach once and there's this guy just started talking to me and he had tattoos on his face and it, you know, we had a Hoodie and they looked like, you know, certains story time. Got The kind of Perkay. It just kind of started talking to me and probably come for me and and I and that's somethenough I picked up on. I just certain kinds of people feel comfortable talking right. So you never know, that could could be an area working. You know, I lived, I live in Nottingham, which is quite a rob city, for nineteen years. Okay, so I can I can relate to people who, you know, live in you know, city and people who have been through certain things. I kind of you know, I play football with a lot of people who, yeah, a bit dodgy in some way. I never got involved on that side of things, but you know, I knew a lot of people who were like that. But you know, people like that shouldn't be judge, they shouldn't be stereotized, because you know behind all that, you know there's a reason why they're in that circumstance, right the person at the end of the day, and they've just being kind of mystery by the system. And if you're if you're not, if you're non judgment this is a coach as well. If you're non judgmental, that's how you have to be asiness. Yes, absolutely, that's why I asked you later the start that how how do you sometimes did that yourself from your perspective the situation, because you can still stand apart from the client. But I think sometimes you and I think that's Coochus, because I wouldn't say that we are able to see things clearly, because that would be literally or relating ourselves, and that would be I mean even our judgment can be wrong, absolutely leap and I truly believe that someone who is in those shoes and who's going through that and who's been experiencing that, of course that person knows better and feels better. But yeah, I think one I mean this is one thing that even I am working actually I'm working on myself on this, because I feel that, you know, as a coach, this has to be one of my qualities that stand apart. I mean just be very new too. Don't get involved even in the situation and don't start assuming things or don't conclude things from your end and don't even have any perception about it. Just is your, or maybe our job is that keep asking them questions in a way that, if directs them to that particular destination and it's there, it's their destination. I mean, you don't need to decided for them. Yeah, I think this is what even I've been working on on myself. Yeah, yeah, we don't have all the answers and not friendk like we have to give ourself that the benefit of that doubt. But we're not. I think people think all our coaches we know we have all the answers. Lot We don't.

We we kind of still a work in programs. So we're still working on ourselves and you know you were going to make we're going to make mistakes, we're going to reflect back on things and wonder if we could have done it. That's that's that's what I was told when I did my course and I've been that's why they said, like supervision as helpful because you can kind of discuss your sessions of someone else and reflect on it. Like I find the coaching sessions are like the client brick comes to you with a ball of string and this ball of string is like all tangled together, and you do that base. I ask you know and you asker questions which they do the work, don't? They untangled at you're just providing a facilitating them. That's first but like you, like you that you've got to stay with the client and you can't get because when I was doing at the training, I was thinking ahead. What question can I say next? So my attention was going from what the client was saying to my own forced and I was not a hundred percent folks on the client because I was worried about how effective my next question. Right. Yeah, yeah, I think all of us a school just do to that problem where and you know, I think the pleasure sometimes will to get to us when we constantly think about that. I have to ask all the right questions and all the good was Kay. I think even when you are whatever they're telling you were discussing their of them by listening to it. You you definitely dissecting if for your own self so that you can come up with the right questions, but also, I think this is constantly playing in your mind, that it I'm going to ask this, but I hope, and I'm literally hoping, that this is a good question and this is going to lead the other person to the next phase where he usually can understand the thing better. Is Fascinating because you can ascertain questions, I found, and then not climb down speak for could talk for ten or fifteen minutes like sometimes it's there's a good book that I've got and it's about I think it's called and the next question is or something like that, and it's a book and it's full of coaching questions to ask. I would definitely get my handswer of. Yeah, I'll find it home and I'll send you a link, which is quite I found this quite useful. You don't have to use the questions and kind of do your own friend not to me, but I'm sure that gives you a quite wider range to Jools, and I'm sure that it also opens a lot of, you know, a lot of avenues for you. That okay, this is also how I can ask this. Yeah, and it's difficult you know, to ask. There's a quite as like, you know, they only kind of wrong question is like question not not asked or something. Not that there's no such winklocker the wrong question. It's just it's hard to differentiate open and clothes and leading questions and to get your head around which one's which. Yeah, so, yeah, sorry, you think something not on us. Fuel can continue. So when you say that, you know basically the crux of it is that there's no wrong question. That's what say. Right, okay, so, but sometimes I think the way I see the wrong question. Yes, I believe that there's no wrong...

...question, but sometimes it might distract from the main, you know, whatever the person is actually heading in his or her path of thought. That might disc that's right. I'm a little longer, but I think, yeah, that also comes with experience. I mean, the more you meet people, the more you're converse with people, the more you understand the human psychology and how it all works. I think it better, the better it becomes. But yeah, to a degree when I agree that there's no wrong question, there's never a wrong question. Yeah, HMM. It's just how you kind of think phrase them. Isn't how you stroke to them. What you see Tony Robins. Some of the questions we asks, he's like he goes in there like an hour, like an hour head and as to the point and it's like happen. I think one of the thing with Tony Robbins is also that, because his energy is always so high, he's so fast, like literally he's so fast and so high in energy that even if he has asked you a simple question, but your window is so short because he you have to literally match up his energy and you have to match up his face of questions, even if he's asked a simple or very ordinary question, you would not feel that because, like you said, there's even a way to project that right to communicate the same thing. So that's also one of the things, that the way you ask the way you communicated to the other person. Yeah, HMM, so clearly I do. I do Lt Tony Robins and there's not a guy isn't a got cold. Carry big. He seen her. My God, I'm such a fan of Gary the trust me. Yeah, he's he's very good. He's I mean he I find him and Tony Robbins almost in the same bave length of times. He's very you know, power pact and, you know, hardly punched and he's like he's not someone who's going to bullshit, like he says everything as it is, and that's what I really like about him. He's not gonna glorify the language, he's not gonna Romanticize the whole top. He's just going to call you out on your shit, and that's what I really like about him, and I think that's what as out of this industry. I think it becomes very important that you literally call it as it is rather than you define it. Yeah, yeah, no, I agree, and I think like you've got to be raw and you've got to be authentic. I when you and you can't really pretend, because I think this the thing with this kind of industry, like a lot of people are out there, and this is what I don't like of it. You see these youtube video sometimes, and this is personal, I look at my office. This is my office. How can you I can get your income to this income and my income from this and and it's just very same, seems very orchestra to the fake like and you know, a lot of people shouldn't be in this for just for the money. It's not really because you're working with people's hearts and minds and emotions and it's not yes, you can make a lot of money in this field, but it should be the main reason why people get into it or do it, and I think that's what some people yeah, the dove and you've got to have empathy. You've got to be able to relate to people. And when I when I did my training, like a lot of people made a lot of people don't know what empathy is, but I found because of a lot of people on my course I did, some of them came from these corporate positions and then these corporate was Asians. You've got to be quite brief less and you kind of yeah, calm. A lot of people are onto and perfect and certain corporations, and I think us off the problem why, you know, people spoken a certain way because the boss the empathy does not to relate...

...to the employees emotions. And you actually put across a really interesting point. So I think you know, this is a popular opinion that if you are in this industry, the first thing that you should be feeling rather than making money, because I mean, yes, I mean it's if you really good at what you do, then of course, the country, the come the industry to really well, that's for sure. But I think the first thing where you should be functioning from is that you really it really matters to you to make an impact, and too. But I'm saying even if you want to make a lot of money out of it. The first thing that we get trapped in is that the moment you get certified, you want to get clients, you want to get hold of a lot of clients and you start, you really want to start earning. And what the is that you haven't basically had your practical training, if I may say so right and you need have to be very good at what you do. So even money is your agent. But the first step, in the first point that you should be thinking about is that how can it really get better at it? So far, you theoretical knowledge, you might have your volunteers to actually practice it on, you might have your guinea pigs, but you don't have the hands on experience with literally coaching real people and coming across the real life situations. So forget even money for a while and forget even making an impact for a while. The first place, in the first step that you should be thinking about is that. You know, I really need to dig more deeper. I really need to look and create such opportunities for my own self I can get hands on experience because at it, because, after your purpose is then if you want to make money, but if you have become already good at it, money will absolutely follow. There is no I mean, I can't rule out that possibility. Of course money will follow if you really good at it. As soon as you graduate with it, don't start chasing money. That's the only point that I want to make. Yes, m yeah, no, it's it's right what you said and I agree with it really and I remember someone on my course said that a lot of coaches, as soon as they qualify, they set up their website. They vessels of money into the merch in the business to follows the money into like business cards. There were saying either have to do that straight to where you do on your own time, and that's where I think some people slip up as well. They invest all this money into it straight away and, you know, might not hit the ground running. You know, you just don't know. I did a zoom call the other day with people from my course. We had to catch up, you know, we had a spread a couple of years and you know, a lot of us are still, you know, kind of not a square one, so to speak. But you know, I mean haven't really kind of taken off. And this is like two years later for people had made, you know, like a living from it. But it's interesting to see other people's stories and where they're at, because we can't assume come with that soon as you qualified, that's it. You know it. It will takes time and I think that kind of goes throughout anything, doesn't it? Because I it's like what you said in terms of coaching. Again, experience, it's when you when you pass your driving tech, you you learn to pass your testy learning to drop. You actually kind of learned to drive when you actually past about sence. I get it. You're absolutely right.

Yeah, I think I see again, like you said, that a lot of people are created website for their own self. I have, I've had friends who are co coaches who came authors, because that's the that's also one of the popular notions that, you know, become a published author and that and which is good. I mean I think if that gives you credibility, definitely you should do it, but I think those are steps still. I mean you can take that time book, because not going anywhere. You eventually will, I'm sure, and in fact, more time you spend in the industry in the more cases you come across, the more you get get hand, the better book you'll be able to write. Right. So these things might give you that break through credibility or that might give you a platform where you start being getting recognized as someone who who's credible, that you know, who knows their shit. But is it enough to actually make you stay? Because at the end of it it all comes down to that. How what kind of knowledge you hold about the subject and what kind of how deep are you willing to go? You know that and I think tries in every field. That's just not about coaching. The more you are willing to dig deeper and go with it and actually try to be one with it, I mean then the world is your stage. Yeah, yeah, Nice. That's is a clear as not being a being a master of your craft, isn't it? That's kind of like keep on it, keep on like improving, isn't it? I keep on working on it, like it's kind of like a muscle in some ways, because I think people people said to me when I was doing my train and they said, like, try and be consistent with it, trying as much as you can, because I noticed about the Decession, I think the recession for a couple of weeks. It's kind of like get it. It's almost like getting back back in the gym. If you don't go for a while, it's kind of you have to keep your practice on. That's all right. I mean the example that you gave right now that if you actually are away from for a long time and then you again hit it back. Yeah, it's exactly like that. You really have to keep your practice on through what way you can find. I mean I would suggest even as a new be if you not getting the clients, but you really need to practice, find people, coach for free, do things, do whatever that is in new capacity, because at the end of it right now you might think that why I should do it for free, but the more experience you'll get, the better you'll be able to quote for yourself. A Matter of time, just a matter of time and how much willingness you have to actually go to thanks for it. Yeah, HMM, nice, exactly. And like if you're I think you're doing something for free. But if if you love it, then you're doing through to you know, like how would you say, kind of like you've coped through what's happened, throughout what's happening at the minute by I mentally and emotionally physic creame stuff. Well, isolation. What kind of yeah, how would you kind of what would pass would you give to lie any one listener who are struggling allot the mental health. For the other slots, they're three things that I want to talk about. One is that, and before I talk about those three things, that are two way Heller notions going around. One is that you know you have you only got all this time and hustle as much as you and and...

...the other one is that you know, take your time off. I mean, it's not it's not a competition that you're in right now that you really have to prove a point and perform right. So, with regard to these two things, I would address both of them separately. First, if you have been someone ready even before this whole epidemics started, that you you would already hustling even before this whole thing started, you it's actually time to slow down a bit and to actually relax. And figure and focus on those things that you put in from stake for such a long time, because, as it is, you've been grinding ever. Is Right, my this time is actually for you to not actually hustle, but actually spend time with your family, you do things that you've been wanting to like literally focus on your bobbies right now. You are someone who has always had these things in mind. It that you know, I really want to start this, but my work or my time doesn't allow me, then definitely this is all the time for you. I mean, this is the only time that you can initiate yourself in the process and this is the only time where you can built all those things as a part of your habit and lifestyle, because absolutely this time is gold right now, and once it's called then it's not going to come back. So for those people, they should definitely start hustling. And then the people, which I completely agree, because self isolation can be very overwhelming at the time. So, especially if you're staying alone, definitely. So for you, I mean, buddy, if you if sustaining and survival is the biggest accomplishment that you are achieving every day, then forget actually hustling, because for you right now, the main motive is that you know keep yourself alive. Right hand, if you are just trying in there one more day and to survive this, I mean Kudos to you. Then don't put yourself even that pressure of actually getting bogged down that I'm not hustling, because what you're trying to do is far bigger. You are actually trying to survive. Right still feeling very moment by all this self isolation thing. I would say look out for someone who is also getting overwhelmed and actually reach out to them and be more kind to them, in the sense was showing kindness to the other one, who is more he was more in neat. You actually distract yourself from your own problem and at least in those moments you feel better. And the Hood Right now is that you know mentally should feel better and you should be feeling emotionally calm. So whatever works for you, I would say if you are in a problem, but if you can actually go out and help someone who's in a problem, do that, because that is what is going to keep you going, that's what's going to make you feel good about the whole thing and make you actually survive this whole self isolation. That's sense on that HMM HM. Last really good way of putting it, and I thought I didn't think about you. Just kind of think, for really like what you said about people who were grind it out before this. You know, it's time flew for them to call a kind of slow down and reaking out with families, work on over fens could one, you know, lie people burn out there and I think like our society's running. It's between you know, going so fast and we've had so much going on, a rounders and you know, we've people have been working all these hours in the day. You know, realize how POW that we're time after themselves. I think, you know, we we need to think differently, we need to work differently. And it doesn't just say I have an impact on us. I think it as an impact on the planet. Nothing. It's a big wake up...

...calling somewhere. But really enjoying my conversation with you was quite actually in exchange opensides and you know, the whole coaching journey that people would shed. I mean it was pretty interesting, great time. Actually, don't do no, you too, you too. It's been been really good and I like I appreciate your time. Thank you so much. Thanking Toast. No, no, you very welcome. You welcome any time and I think sometimes would love to be. Yeah, but that's been a pleasure of Amahas Care, take care. You Welcome. Ta Care.

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