The Parrsitivity Podcast
The Parrsitivity Podcast

Episode 18 Β· 1 year ago

The Parrsitivity Podcast #Episode84 Kim Thomas


In this episode I'm joined by Kim Thomas, - Kim is a family friend & Hypnotherapist. - in this podcast we talk about the woman's menopause, and why it is something that should be highlighted in society within workplaces, women's menopause has been classes as an illness...and it's simply not! - Some women have lost their jobs, have been prescribed medication that doesn't even ease menopause symptoms. - β™€οΈπŸ‹οΈβ€β™€οΈπŸ§β€β™€οΈπŸ¦Έβ€β™€οΈπŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘§β€πŸ‘§πŸ‘©β€βœˆοΈπŸ‘©β€πŸ’ΌπŸ’β€β™€οΈπŸšΊπŸŒ πŸŽ™οΈπŸŽ§πŸ€― --- Send in a voice message:

Hither. My name is Adam Po and the podcast host posity to podcast. In this podcast, you will be listening to me connect with people from different walks of life, from the military to people in the music industry, to people in the self help industry and many other areas of life. In this podcast I'll be talking about topics from self help, mental health, motivation, spirituality, mindset, society, current affairs and much, much more. If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe, share and let me know your feedback. And my main intention on this podcast is to have a positive impact for you, the lit the listener, to take something positive from it, to apply something positive into your life from this. Now with without further ado, let's go to podcast and enjoy. Hi, and welcome to parties podcast. On today's episode I'm joined with Kim Thomas. She's a family friend and hypotherapist. In this podcast we talked about mental health and women's menopause and women's health and the stigma around the menopause in society and the workplace. Now sit back, relax and en sure this episode here we are right. Hi, hi, Kem, are you doing? Thank you for coming to a podcast. Really appreciate it. Welcome, great, great to see you. Are you too? Yeah, but yeah, I we we've been talking on before this. We picked a topic that is definitely something that, you know, needs to be spoken about and I think it's kind of getting out in the medium war and it's like, you know, menopause. It's that me, a subject that I'm very passionate about, and I really want to said that you've been incredibly rave, because it's a subject that people are very shy about, to boo, subjects not talked about, and the want, you know, on top of all that, but women have is a huge amount of shame attached to being Menophausal, and that's been many, many reasons. But the having the taboo about it, it's like they try and suppress everything. So they can't be open, they can't be honest, they're reluctant to say how they're feeling and of course that just them makes them more anxious, more stressed, more worried, more apprehensive about what they're doing. You know, I'm very passionate about supporting women and their well being and it's something that every woman will go through in her life. There's it's not an illness, it's a natural stage in every woman's life. Every menopause journey is different. So one not one. Science fics all, there is a tendency for the medical profession to medicalize it as an illness that needs sorting, that needs fixing. Many of my wonderful female clients that come to me say I went to my DP because I was struggling with in some yeah, so we gave them sleeping girls and end all, I'm struggling with anxiety, so they gave me some piece of blockers or all the chosen whatever or, you know, even antidepressants. Yeah, the menopause is not an illness. However, sometimes some of the symptoms are severe and Ur that they do need some medical assistance. Yeah, so, see, what you're saying is like your clients going for the menopause...

...going to the doctors because they've got symptoms from the menopause and they're being prescribed drugs and medication that's got nothing to do with the menopause. I was making them feel a certain well, it has got a lot to do with the menophause and a classic you know, if I can read you down the list, if you like, of meniple symptoms and anybody that's interested want to find a bit more. You know, they're very welcome to email me and Kim Tomas ten at and I'm happy to answer any questions that they may have. But you know, we go from anxiety to brain fog to low moved to lots of confidence, lots of anxiety. Yeah, as we've obviously seen in the article or today in the Daily Mail. You know the celebrity that is in the Daily Mail today. They she lost her confidence to drive. She's so anxious that she couldn't drive. And that's just one. If you take a woman who is now extending her work life, because historically women didn't use to do but they are now in the workplace for as long as so perhaps previously, when the Menophaus hit the work many, so many questions being asked of that woman to achieve. Now you going on into your S. s still working for many women, and so when they hit the menopause they're still expected to keep that momentum going and there is no consideration for the changes that are happening and actually warning for women will look to leave work early and then have to put their job because they cannot continue. The workforce will be missing out on you know, all the experience or the wisdom or the constinuity, because these these group of very expertise people, experience, people are having to leave because because the workplace hasn't provided sufficient support for them. And you know, we have the Equality Act Now, which came out in two thousand and ten, and that a quality act says you cannot discriminate against a woman because of the menopause. And so you know, the health and safety act is coming in and it is supporting very interestingly, if we look at organizations that have been taken to tribunals by women who feel that they have lost their job unfairly, they are seen as a disability. They using the the disability law that so they're saying that the menopause is a disability. Well, a menopause woman is not disabled, you know, and that's a stigma that they are being labeled with. So you can see how it's very challenging. If that's where house she's going to be portrayed, why she would want to continue in that workplace. And there's a lot of bullying goes on in workplaces as well when women. Hot flushes is a classic everybody knows hot flushes as a or maybe you don't because you're young and you're a male that you know it's a horrible, horrible place for a woman to be. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, she's in an oven. Yeah, and if you're in a meeting and you've got that hot flash and then a sense of missing and you start to panic and you can see your work colleagues and they're all nudging each other, she fears he's for the security of her job. And you know, if more and more people understand the menophause, are understanding about the menopause, then workplaces can be made more menopause friendly, that they can make huge changes and differences so that they the work experience for that woman is it's done, is more comfortable and she can then go through the change, go through those challenges that she she needs to with the support and then you know, at some point things will start to settle down again and back on, back to where she's feeling, and they get that can take years for some people months fathers, because we have perrymenophause, menopausal and then postman and pause. So there are three divided and I think the Perry menopause is the one that it recognize that. People just will say, Oh, I can't sleep,...

I'm feeling anxious, oh I've got social anxiety, I've lost my self confidence, oh I'm putting some weight on, and they're not realizing that that's what's happening to them. And if we can catch them early enough and get them to recognize what's going on, then they can stop to build things in place to help them through this journ. Yeah, I agree with you and I think, like you know, the whole stigma around it, you know, is is wrong really, you know, because people might be in relationships where their partner has a you know, we need to understand it, you know, like okay, those males don't go through it, but it doesn't help the situation almost if you don't understand it or if you're judging that person, because I think some couples might do that, they might say certain things, be judging and I think, like you said, corporate wise and businesses as well, if specially if people are high up and, like you said, they have to give a presentation or talk to fifty people and having a hot flush and then the being selfconscious, which then probably makes them more anxious, which then doesn't help that situation. So you can, you know, especially if you're, yeah, working for a company, it's, you know, you said, people have been classified, you know, an illness when it's not an illness. You know, if you take a woman that's at top of the game of an accountant and that the has been a case and she can't afford to make mistakes because these, you know, these are company it counts that need to be absolutely one hundred percent. But she can because of the issues that are going on, lack of sleep, anxiety or all sorts of things that all come in and there is brain fog, their owth confusion, because hormones, you know, balance out your body. They be, can't? We are hormones. are a bunch of hormones that are rushing around, talking out to various tasks they need to do. So, you know, is it fair for that woman, in that short time, to lose her job, to just to be dismissed, or can we say that she has every right to say, look, can I take some time? Can I work from home? Because if I can work from home, I can have all the doors open, I can have all the windows open, I can be as cool, I can take a break and have a glass of water and if a job that she has to do that's from nine to five, she can do in our own time, whatever works. You know, that opportunity. She should be allowed that time in order to get herself from where she is to where she needs to be, because it's possible. We can go through that transition, and I say some more easily than others, but you just need a little bit of support. If somebody had fallen over and had an accident and damage, for is a good path of their body, they would be allowed sometimes for that body to mend, to recover. And you know the menophause, it's not an illness, but it does need sometimes just to adjust and violence and and you know, it need it needs to be given grace and needs to have some more understanding so that people, and you know, Adam, you're absolutely right in what you're saying about couples living together. The race of divorce that happens around the menopause is very high and there are a number of reasons why, why that happens, but one of the saddest reasons is that Mother Nature gave us this incredible hormone, Oxytosin, and when, when, whether we have children or not, but female have an abundance of oxytosa because we are careers. When babies are born, the mother is blooded with this oxytosin and very flever neat trick of Mother Nature, because you know, babies are Puky, smelly, screaming, sleepless nights, producing little bundles. And if the Mother didn't love it unconditionally, is it going to put up with not getting any sleep? No, the mother is going to get you know, because she loves it. That oxycose is there. She's never going to leave that, that little baby. She's never going to not wipe up its sick or or clean it to evomk it. She's there. And oxy closin is one of the hormones that can diminish...

...quite significantly with the men, of course. So we can have Mr and Mrs Jones who are yeah, it's today, yeah, and they've been rubbing along with it happily together and their life is and every Thursday night he's had a stay in kidney prime made him and then all of a sudden, out of the blue, the MRS says sorry and it's like, well, come on a minute, staying kidney by well, why? I have one up because I start like where are? You know, it's like, and he's like Whoa. You know, hang on a minute, you know, you just is unreasonable, crazy woman. You know all you obviously don't love me anymore because you can't give him, you know, and just like I'm getting her and it's open. So you know, he might slope off to the pub and get drunk because he's been rejected and she's feeling really angry because he hasn't understood her, because they haven't communicated there haven't shared what's going on and they know the last thing she needs is to not be heard, to not be listened. But maybe she doesn't know what's going on in myself. She just doesn't want to make the stay in kidney putting anymore. She doesn't want to have to to clean up the mess after the kids anymore. All look after elderly parents in quite the same way. You know, there's a huge amount of stuff that goes on and we're oxytocin is is diminishing. It's tough to keep on going if you're having sleepless nights. On top of that, you're exhausted. If you really heart, then you do. These are do goes off, who Thais on the do those off? You know, if you don't set up some decent sleep regimes and sleep hygiene. I was recommend to my ladies have single do these, because whatever you do with your do they that's fine. But here or how do you very that's next to you can just say where it is so you're not disturbing that the your partner that you're sleeping next to, because you know if he is sleep, will her sleep is disrupted as well? Then they only break up like bears with storeheads. You and so you just you know the other thing as well, with dox of coasting and linking into that is it's the libido. You can have somebody that's had a very physical relationship and all of a sudden it's I am so not interested. And so again, you know that can be seen as a rejection. It can be very painful. What is what is a partner supposed to do? You know that this is we're supposed to have, this intimate relationship, ship and all of this. So I'm you're saying now so clearly, that saying that you don't want to be with me anymore. No, not true. It just means that in this moment in time. They haven't got the energy, the wherewithal to engage in that. They are so busy trying to get these these hormones bancing out that, you know, a night of passion is way way down the list of needing their means. But unless good by the partner, it's it just creates the barrier between them and and and so on and so on. It just rolls on. For Women, aiding is a very fearful place today. If you're working, what am I work, colleagues? Can I keep this job? If I'm not sleeping, how can I function? I'm putting on weight, I'm not attractive anymore, I'm not fit anymore. Not on affect my husband, my partner, is not going to find an attractive anymore. WHAT'S THE CLICHE? You know, he then runs off or she then runs off with somebody else. None of these are intentional, but it's because people aren't communicating, they're not understanding the severity of what's happening with these hormone changes that are going on. But some guidance, with some support, that menophors journey can be embraced and when you come out the other I free. You know, it's you are wise and you you've got another fifty years in front of you. Yeah, yeah, no, I'd completely I don't really agree with what you're saying. And it's, you know, like it's it's interesting, you know, learning about it and thinking about it, because I think, like you know, men in general, it's not really something that like me, like you know, if someone talks about it or like you know, we we was talking about it. Yeah, and I sent to myself, well, this is something that is going on, this is something that, you know, say I'm married in the future or something or other life, whether than that day, is going to happen. So you know why wiped and that isn't a thing.

If it is, you know why pushed under the carpet. You know, learn more about it, understand it. I mean that's as a choice, but I think that's just that's something that, you know, ment should look into as well, and I think that's something. That's my opinion. Yeah, because if I if men had something going on, I see it from the flip side as well, because if man had something going on, you would want the woman to understand Oscar at or that thing is. So I going to help the situation if they're just playing it off or not understanding it. And, like you said, that that communication is key and that awareness around it, especially in work as well in relationships. It's all it's all like an knock on effect and all these different oven uses and it's not just one thing like work. Work might be one strond of it. Then you've got relationships, then you've got family, then you've got yourself and self image. I mean, growing old isn't always fun and that's it's a challenge, isn't it? You know, but if your hormones are raging, then trying to be logical in a month all that can be. It can be confusing and growing all gracefully is a great thing, but it can be. Well, do I go gray or do I know? Do I have those times in my hair that you know it's okay, that I have a few more wrinkles? You know, eternal youth it something that today's society things to promote. It's interesting to look at leading female role models. We can have people like Dan Julie Dench. You know she's out there. She's to the gray head Oscar winning figure. Yeah, you know. So she hasn't pretended to be anything other than she's. Hella Mirran would be another one. Hella Marron. You know, how fantastic does she look in the went said the product, but you know that the yeah, yeah, there's a moisturizer that you know, she advertiser actually promotes it and she looks amazing and you know she could got bright hair and she looks fantastic. You know, this is this is where women need to look towards that. It is possible, but sometimes we just need a little bit of help, some guidance and some support. And for many women, because they don't understand what's going on, they continue their life, maybe in a in a less well being way. And we know that as we get older we don't digest food, we don't take the nutrition out of food as easily as we do when we're younger, and so we have to look at eating healthy, nutritious food more than perhaps would have done in our vertices twenties, and we have to accept that sugar triggers hot flashes. Now, yeah, I've had women that's actually wanted to punch my lights out when I've said, you know, you've got to reduce eating that chocolate and stop drinking the red wine just for now and they're going to they won't take responsibility. They're really angry thinking that they've caused some of these themselves, and of course it's not always true. But the one thing I always keep my clients, get my clients to keep is a food diary and so that they can see for themselves a pattern of triggers that are coming off, and foods are key to that well being. We know if you want to be fit and healthy, you know what you put in you get out. It's mood and food. You know, if you're feeling low, think about the foods that are going to bring that mood up, and you know processed foods, high shuggary foods. I'm not going to elevate your mood thing and make that blood should and drop before you have to do as well, and again is in another one. Take up a if you don't exercise, you have to take up some form of exercise. The body needs movement, and I'm not talking about starting to do marathons and talking about ten minutes of a walk, half an hour on a yoga map, doing some stretches. They helped flush out any toxins in there. We also have to think about the products that we use. You know, have paramom free products, shampoos...

...and things like that. Reduce as many chemicals as you can in your body so that your body can sort out bancing these hormones, not having to divert that job into getting rid of toxic chemical to building up in your body. It needs to be as clean and fresh as it can be to do the job. So it and then he metophors therapist will tell you it's a holistic approach and it can be a gentle, comfortable journey. Yes, they can be pick ups along the way, but there are many things that can help with the right guidance, the right information. Stress, you know, that's that's another big one and rightly said, you know all links in. If you're stressed at work, how are you going to bunce on those Mormons? How can you get rid of that stress? When you get home, it's go on and then, and then you don't get a good night sleep or you haven't search anyway, and then you've got stressed against your sleep and so on. We keep going round and round in that you can see why women do leave Wuork early. We do. You can see why divorces, why relationships break up. It's a sad story that's there, but we can change it and with more people like yourself that of saying, hang on, yeah, let's put the word out there, then I believe that it will, it will help and really get some momentum and yeah, yeah, no, I I caulely agree with you and I think, like you know, really think it's good that you're you know, you're passionate about this and you're you know, you're willing to put out there, you know, because I think a lot of people probably think, like I said, it's almost like you just like said, it's to do subjects. Some people don't want to talk about it and I think it's brave view for like you know to come out with what you talking about. You know we're many pause, and that you're passionate about it. And I said, I think, you know more needs to be done about it and I think through platforms like podcasting and social media, people can kind of use that more to to to put out there. Like you said, you just take sometimes, you know, one person previous thing. Oh, yeah, me, me as well. I'll then talk about it because someone else talk about it. Kind of thing. It's interesting isn't it? How the female body can be such a mystery? That has to be a secret. I mean, you know, that's the joy of a female body and, as well as that, the sadness about it. And many things are secret. Our cat and I'm really agree that. You know, that's a nice things. It's not. It's Mortim and I'm unpleasant thing, but it has to be understood and not many women understand their own bodies. So goodness me, it's a big ask for a man who understand the female holy when she doesn't really understand it herself. Yeah, that's a really good point, isn't it? As well, because that person doesn't require the sound what's going on and that an't go on somewhat them. But you know, I'm some themselves and it's going to be hard to communicate that to person aside them or I just think as well. Came to mind. Is that most difficult for certain cultures as well, because some cultures, some cultures, probably can't people. People can't talk about some things. There's almost like, you know, just get on with it, or if they're just like I'll just get on with it, and that really right. You know, there are religious dogmas and cultures that women are seen in a very different light. Yeah, the very, very different story to try and and get this message over. Yeah, you know, and it must be so, so difficult. We you know, we know there are some cultures that when the women I meenistruating, they're not even allowed to be around men. So to even begin working through any menopause and issues with them would be it's very cool, but like that makes it make matthews a lady. We mentioned news in the media. She she's the one who experience many pause and she was scared to drive. I mean, must just one CAS isn't it? I mean I know some people who have had it and they found it hard going to..., especially if to an a certain position where you you have to delegate, you know, and it's like you might not feel a hundred percent but you've got to appear to be a hundred percent. And that's the clash with it, isn't it? And I think it will just break the ice a little bit, so to speak, of people understand it. I mean you think of my mental health in the workplace. People are a lot more understanding of it. Now you know why can't start menopause family I kind of ties into it anyway, because you're going to be experience and mental health problems, you know, anxiety and things like that through the menopause. So I should tie into it. Yeah, I mean, if we look at the case with that, you know, but too anxious to fly, that would be something that arrived uninvited, with no expectation and totally out of the blue. And I suspect what it would start with is apprehension, sitting at the wheel, holding on the steering wheel, slightly tight or butterflies in the tunny, you know, being tight, tied up in a knot in the tummy, and getting to the destination and feeling pretty exhaust and then, you know, getting back in that vehicle and driving back game, you know, holding on, checking is that okay? And then the body. What we do is we've hat much. So you then get out of the car and you get back into your home and the next day you've got another journey planned and you're onboard. Computer goes back and goes. You know, yesterday that journey, well, we were a bit anxious, and so it goes. Well, do we really want to be anxious? The game today? Well, okay. Well, we have to go on that journey, but the body is always remembered what it felt like yesterday, and so it will create the same kind of anxiety the next day because you've told the body that there's an issue with this, that you're feeling anxious, and so because it patterned match to yesterday's journey, it will produce the same kind of stressful moone. So then you've got some quarter style coming into your body's got some adrenaline coming into your body and away you go again on this journey feeling really anxious. And so you're now building up a big narrative story of driving makes me feel really anxious. And so it accumulates, day after day after day, to the end you the body going, you know what, can't do it anymore and anything I haven't. You know it. There's no logic. I haven't been involved in a car accident, nothing awful happened that this accumulation of anxiety is built up and built up and built up themselves and just cannot cope with this any longer. Social anxiety is incredibly common with MEDOPAUSE, ladies, for the same because of the lack of self worth, like a stuff confidence, sometimes because of the physical changes that their experience as in some slight weight game or but they can go from being a party animal one minute to wanting to just stay in, have do the days and watch DVD's. Well, anybody that's around them then think that they've gone crazy. Come on, and you're a party girl, and the more pressure you know that that's been put on, the worst you feel, because you're going are should I feel guilty? I'm learning my friends down and letting this down. But but there's a bit of you that goes up. I just can't do it. So you know we've got guilt. Then that comes in on top of all that and then you know that I feel guilty. That makes us feel more anxious and so I'm probably not going to get as a nice sleep because we're feeling really bad about the posing. And if again, we're back on that hampster world to know where, yeah, there's it's pretty so many now. There's so many angles to it, isn't they there's so many kind of rabbit holes with it, so to speed, where it takes that person to you know, sleep, to you know work, to how they think about themselves. It's just like a big, massive like spiderwear, they different things. It really does kind of open your eyes to it, you know, when you when you look at it and how it affects our person all these areas. Like what did you think? Like this current situation with like pandemic is probably made it harder for some people who going through the manipause, you think? Because, I mean, I spoke to somebody and they said they, you know, they didn't want to queue up to go into the supermarket. Felt really upset and overwhelmed to you know, just to go into the supermarket and quo, you know, little things like that, like you said. But going through a drive...

...or going and doing something with this whole situation's probably making people more stress and if they're going for the many pause, it might be bit harder. Probably. Well, that's interesting. I think. Before we have paradox in there, because if you are struggling with social anxiety, if you don't want to have to give the meeting and greeting, and if you know the workplaces being on all of a sudden you haven't got to go out there and part as you can go to and you can work from home, then in actual facts, for some that's been okay. You know it's been a more comfortable time for them and you know, maybe some that are experiencing that. You know if they they've been able to press that pause button, take a deep by and if they've managed to look at any changes that need to be implemented in that time that, you know, when we come back out of this into the new norm, whatever that news we it will be quite nice to think that that they can manage it because they've had the opportunity to work out it gently, in a quiet way, because they had that time at home, they've had the time out. Because society pushes us, doesn't it? It's a bit you know, once you're on on that treadmill, it's really hard to get off it and so you feel that you have to keep going up, to keep going up, to keep going but by no fault of anybody's at the moment we've will have to take a step off it in more way. Yeah, I mean, man, if you're anxious about your health and wellbeing and then the pandemic and that's only going to obviously increase the anxiety. So again, everybody's some people are pretty killed about it, some people are terrified about it and there are a few people that are in the middle of somewhere. Yeah, it's it definitely does raise your awareness when you think about it and I feel, I think, like you said, it's something that, I mean, it's new to me. I mean I've had relatives who've, you know, gone through it and I've really fought to much about it or, you know, just for just just want to learn. It's just, you know, but like if they're not communicating how they feel now, it affects them and, like I said, that can tie into them not know what's going on or, you know, it's hard to communicate across people. Can people can judge you can do sometimes or say like the old phone and we shouldn't really it's wrong. And Yeah, I think, you know, through the media and the government and workplaces, you know, being more open about it and understanding, you know, taking that bit time just to be there. You know it it's empathy, isn't it? I mean you want that to be that to be understood. You want to be fear welcomed. You you know why, like you said, why should of the workplace or Business or corporation by somebody, because they might feel but they're going for some of the menopause and just replace the someone else. I think I'm member. You said that into somebody. Somebody got five from the job because of the manipause and there was labeled as mental illness, like it's crazy. What what ages does it happen? Can Happen at, like you know, very early on in the thirties, fill s very that's another really interesting question there. And because we are finding that women are going into the menopause earlier and earlier. The average age is fifty one, but it can happen anytime before after that. Historically it's paramena pause around forty five. Little flight changes can begin that unless you're very self observing person, you wouldn't perhaps necessarily notice. But they are seeing women now increasingly earlier and earlier, and I think we have to look at the environment and the expectations. What pressures all these people underneath? What toxic chemicals are they being exposed to all this to happen? And in stress is definitely a big, the big factor in and any mental... But I think that with the menopause we know that stress has a big impact and you don't stress can come in many different guys it. You can be a child under stress if you've been bullied at school. You can be a young person under stress because of expectations from their peers or or family expectations leading to achieve you know, we inadvertently expose ourselves to stress and how we manage that stress. It's down to the individual whether they have the capacity to self food and calm and the resilience to it. But you know, if you've got somebody that has had a renders childhood, been exposed to a high level of stress and anxiety and fear often, then you know everything in their body has been compromise. Their also immune system has been put under huge amounts of pressure and so as they go through life, you know the chances of them not having breast cancer, for instance. We know it's very high for people that have been sexually used constantly in their childhood. They've been in a very stressful situation, and so that you know, menopause, I think, can be one of those that not all again because we cannot generalize, but I think if we had education as young people and you were told that in fifty years time you want to feel like this and you're going to have this, this and this. But if use that yourself up today. Don't some of them that experience? In fifty years time it's going to be more comfortable, less what it is. But then, you know, does that ever stop somebody smoking? You know, it is that it's why does somebody start smoking knowing for well that they have a chance of having having consor problems? Yeah, yeah, it's definitely, I said, it's definitely something that I think, you know, needs to be put into the system somewhere. You know, this needs to be some kind of gardens on it or because it's something that isn't. I mean, I'm a guy, but I mean it's only something you really hear about, whether people talk about it's not really something that people have educated on, probably unless they research, and they have. It's something like you have. People have to educate themselves on it. If I make a screw, if I make sense us, certainly at the moment. You know, they have to to find what's going on and then say, you know, the first course of call generally has been going to to their GP and they will report things like insomnia or anxiety or depression, and it's very quickly medicalized put down as an illness, which it isn't, and and they deal with those. Some GPS are more understanding. And then women have a choice whether they go on hrt or not, and the HRT debate is a huge one. We could, we could talk all day about, you know, the HRT, but for some women it's definitely the right answer because there's they can go on the HRT and replaces all the hormones that have been depleted, and that's fine. But we have to look at the long term implications of that. How long could a woman say on HRT, given that her body naturally should be making these changes at some point, because she's not designed to be having babies at eighty years old, you know fat. So it's it's whether you want to keep that body in that false state and how long do you want to keep it in that false state? If you're working and your career is dependent on it and there is no alternative, it's definitely HRT is a life saver. There are other alternatives and again with you, you could talk about those, but a lot of them are first cause of call is always look at Your Life, look at your health and well being. Addressed the sleep. Let's reduce the anxiety, as clean up the lights, reduce the amounts of chemicals that you're exposed to and then let's have a look, see how you've feeling, let's see what's going on and at that point if it's okay. Yeah, I'm pretty good on that one.

I know that if I have that cheeky chunk of chocolate, might have a bit of a hot flush and that it's you do the risk assessment or it's about day and I'm going to celebrate. I'm going to have some grantine or or something, but maybe that night then your sleep is going to be not as good as as it would be. But knowing that you've done it and you can get back on track is a great thing. For some women they can't control it. For some women it's impossible, for some women is and that's why getting some help from a menapals therapist really has to be, I think, for many, of the way forward and I think it should be provided by the NHS. I think it should be something that young people are told about at the young age, whether they take any notice of it. Like we've talked about smoking, is you know, it's a pretty mud choice then isn't? But at least you know for armed is for warn M yeah, no, I agree. I think it's definitely something that needs to be, you know, put into education somewhere. You know, it would be some commercial awareness around it, you know, and I think, like you said, if you start giving it someone, somebody starts taking to depressions or starts taking certain drugs for menopause which doesn't even treat menopause, then that person, you know, especially in America, there's lots of crazy. You know, people can be prescribed on ten different things because they taken one thing that they needs, then take something else and then something else counts right there, and before you know it you might get people on ten or eleven different medications because of menopause, because it's just stemmed from all these different things. So, yeah, I liver. Yeah, yeah, and then I just cause alight more problems. But yeah, no, I I can be the gree view and I think. I think through this people can take a lot from it. You know, what we spoken about, what you know and and the work that you do, you know, can really help people, you know, the mental health with people going through menopause. I think it's, you know, really positive thing to be d you know, before before we wrap up, one thing I wanted to get a crosses that, you know, women should thrive, not just a life, and I think that's the message. You know, I want to say, come on, let's try. There's a great life, that there's a tasting that we live in. Okay, little bit toxic turvy at the moment. Yeah, but you know, it's a great world. It's a beautiful world. Okay, again, super and is not. But we should be able to embrace it and go. Isn't this amazing? Isn't it fantastic? Okay, I know that that's that's me, you might say, type Compulan, because everybody has there are dark, darker sides of life. I get that. But if we can get out of our own way, if we can see and fly and and let go of things, wow, you know, you can get to the end of the life and say I had a ball, it was a great, great experience. And and just because you've reached that age doesn't mean you have to stop having challenges. Doesn't mean that you can't set yourself a goal. How can a drink come true if you don't have a dream? We all have the other journey and just because we've reached a certain age doesn't mean to say that we that we have to stop you kind of go and climb the mountain. Might not be the biggest mountain in the world, but if you can fit and you can be trains and you could do it, you can do it and not I can't because I'm metaphors, or I can't because I'm old, or I can't because of this, and I know that's kind of simplistic because physically there are people that have big questions, but that's why I think, you know, if we get into well being early enough, then we can look after our health, we can look after the best of our ability, we can keep going what we've been given as a gift. So let's all be out there thriving, not just surviving. Yeah,... I see. II. Con pletely agree with you and I I think, like you know, it's what you do with what's happening, isn't it? Like you're going to become a victim of it, the point a finger at it or going to take it and you're going to use it. You know, it's like motivate us to do something. You know about it. I think you know we have a choice stone and like that that we say fiving in surviving. That, for came into my head today actually, and I was like are we? Are we thriving or surviving? And that's a really good quote, isn't it? As a really good way, because we aren't it, you know, really a thriving or surviving? I'm it's one of the other, like we have a choice, M and, and really that choice, is it thought? HMM, you can choose to think one way if you think another way. HMM. Yeah, yeah, no, Sir, I I think you know, with what we spoke about is really, you know, it's really important. I think it's really, really important and I think it's, you know, a great job what you're doing and I think it's really brave you talk about it and really know, I applaud you for talk about it and putting that, putting it out there, you know, and I think it's something that even you know, not just women, but I mean men like me, should look more into it. It's made me think more about it and I've learned more about it through talking to you and I really appreciate that. And I think they're not just women should look and I think mental look into its. Well, everybody should, because we should care about one another. Shouldn't be. We're all human beings. HMM, yeah, gender shouldn't be. Could be an issue here. No, not, just being caring. So, yeah, and thank you for being brave enough to just step into into this world of menopause and and you know, at some point, you know, I think it's important for men to to learn how to survive term menophause because, yeah, it's a difficult time in relationships, it's a difficult time for a woman. It's difficult. Yeah, no, no, you're very, very welcome and I'm very, very humbled and grateful to you, know, to have you on the podcast and really really means a lot and it's just nice any time. Madam, you know you are. Yeah, yeah, not seem to you. And that where? Where can people find you on like social media and website? Yeah, so my email address, I said earlier, it's can come from us, the number ten at a Worldcom and my company is a new you therapy. So if you could use a therapy doct UK, you can find you. Know, I forgot to mention as well. You're your favorite what kind of therapy? But your favorites, but in what areas well? A lot of I work a lot with anxiety, but really promoting the work with women's well being. Not to say that I won't work with men, because I have a lot of male clients that are working with some anxiety. Yeah, I use a lot of guided imagery. I'm coming from the human givens perspective, so I don't know yet. I can get people they if they look at human givens therapy, they'll be the approach that I take my clients. Yeah, Nice, awesome and I know it's really love you that you know you are there helping people. Applaud you for the and yeah, I'll share your your details in this podcast and a promote what you do as well. For you. Thank you, welcome. Well, keep safe and will catch up again. Yeah, of course are welcome. Take care. Thank you. Thank you. Can.

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